5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

1. You’ve re-downloaded Tinder or something similar, telling yourself you’re just trying to make “friends.”

Chances are you met your significant other on Tinder, Grindr or on some other type of online dating situation, meaning you probably got so excited about finding someone at last that you actually deleted the app. Good riddance! You don’t need it anymore! Problem is, the biggest sign things are heading south in your relationship fast is if you secretly re-download the app(s), telling yourself this time that you’re only looking for friends. You might not actually even be lying to yourself — maybe you really are just looking for friends — but clearly your relationship isn’t fulfilling you 100%. That’s why you’re looking to make connections with other people. There’s only a matter of time before you find someone you like even better. Chances are once you finally do break up you’ll run into them again on Tinder, and that will confuse you because they told you they weren’t ready for a relationship.

2. If they broke up with you right now you wouldn’t care. You’d actually feel relieved.

Being so uninterested in someone that you wouldn’t care if they broke up with you is the worst situation for the both of you. No one ever has the courage to break up with someone they just aren’t feeling anymore, and no one wants to be the person who got ditched. People lose interest in other people for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes it really is them, not you. Some breakups are more painful and numbing than others, especially when you have been with someone for several years or more. But when you reach complete disinterest in your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been dating, it’s time to rip off the bandaid and end it.

3. You don’t feel like you’re a part of their life anymore.

Body language is such a powerful communicative tool. Nearly all relationships start off heavy, with big make out sessions, tons of sex, hand holding, and just general closeness. As time goes on the novelty wears off but you’ve still got enough gas in the tank to keep things interesting. The problem is when there is suddenly so much distance between the two of you — they don’t text, they never call — that you don’t feel like you’re a part of their life anymore. Communication is always key. But this is beyond communication: it’s about the shared experience of love. That’s what a relationship is, isn’t it? A sharing, a bonding. If you’re not bonding anymore — say if your girlfriend or boyfriend regularly invites people for dinner but doesn’t include you — what’s the point? What’s the point of being together if you’re not a part of their life?

4. People ask you how s/he’s doing and you immediately start complaining.

NEVER a good sign. Whenever anyone asks you how you’re doing you’re just supposed to say “fine” or “cool thanks” and just stop it there. You’re not supposed to talk about your real problems. When your friends ask you how your significant other is doing you’re supposed to be bursting at the seams, glowing, excited to be talking about them, not annoyed that you have to bring them up or otherwise instantly start complaining. Sure, no relationship is perfect, and no boyfriend or girlfriend you ever have will be perfect, either. Pay attention to how you talk about your girlfriend or boyfriend when you are asked about them. You’ll learn a lot about how you really feel.

5. They have become a complete stranger to you.

The surest sign it’s over between you two is when your lover starts to feel like a complete stranger. Their hugs are the hugs of a stranger, an anonymous person you will sit far away from on the couch as you both watch the same TV show. It’s not that you don’t know who they are anymore but more that you’ve allowed yourself to unknow who you thought they were.