The 20 Most Annoying Life Situations
1) When you get a ticket because you parked somewhere illegally for like 7 seconds.
2) When a show everybody watches like Scandal or Girls comes on and you don’t get to watch it right away. You know what that means — you have to avoid all social networks so you don’t accidentally read any spoilers.
3) When you’ve already watched 18 minutes of your favorite television show online but for some magical reason those last 5 minutes just won’t load. You keep refreshing your browser and going through the commercials again and again just to get to those last freaking 5 minutes.
4) “Thank you for calling ________. Your call is very important to us. Your estimated wait time is hahahaha sucker.”
5) You want to use your iPhone before you go to sleep and you’re already in bed but the battery is at like 3% and the cord isn’t long enough to reach you.
6) When your computer crashes before you’ve saved your work.
7) “You can skip this ad in 10 seconds.”
8) When you put on a sock with a hole in it because you think it won’t annoy you. But it bothers you all day. That big toe is just hanging out there all alone.
9) When your straw disappears into a bottle.
10) When you wake up in the middle of the night and peep your phone to check the time but actually you have to get up in 7 real minutes.
11) When you are at the gas station or the local Dairy Queen and you suddenly realize you forgot your wallet at home.
12) When your card gets declined and all the people behind you make that “what a loser” face, but you KNOW there is money in that account, you think…
13) All those songs on your iPod or MP3 player that you always skip and don’t have any plans to delete, either.
14) When you have an amazing idea in the middle of your sleep and forget to write it down in the morning.
15) If you have a Mac, when the color wheel of death pops up.
16) When you burn your tongue on a hot drink, even though you KNEW it was going to be hot and waited a few minutes before you went in.
17) When the aisles at the grocery don’t make ANY sense. Why is the Ketchup next to the toothpaste? I don’t really get it.
18) When you have the perfect idea for dinner or dessert but the place is closed by the time you get there.
19) If somebody says “Can you do me a favor?” before they tell you what the favor is.
20) When you orgasm and it’s like not even a good one. Thanks for letting me waste 20 minutes, body.
It started with a right swipe, a little green heart. Tinder of course.
Though I acknowledge and appreciate the differences in human experiences, and while your heartbreak is (and always will be) uniquely and completely your own, I must urge you to consider that I have been where you are.
By Devon Oyler
With his hat cocked back, body tilted away from his cane, and right forefinger pointing directly at his audience, Joseph Ducreux commands the attention of those viewing his self-portrait.
I was born in 1990; he was born in 1973. I’m 23; he just turned 40.