32 Of Life’s Simple Pleasures
1) When a person you have a crush on texts you, and you didn’t even have to text them first.
2) When an office colleague, classmate, or some of your students surprise you with a Thank You gift, and you’re really touched because you didn’t see it coming.
3) After a long day you’re dreading making dinner because you don’t feel like washing the dishes but, wow! The dishes are already clean. Go you.
4) You go to your favorite store and buy something on sale only to find out when you get to the register that it’s discounted even more than you thought.
5) If today is the day your favorite singer or band drops a new record.
6) The moment you’re out in public with a crush you’ve been hanging out with but it’s not official. Somebody comes over and your crush introduces you as their boy/girlfriend.
7) Cooking dinner for an old friend from college you haven’t seen in forever.
8) When you hear about an opportunity that’s absolutely perfect for what you want to do in life.
9) You get an email saying you are a finalist for your dream job, or a call back for an audition.
10) When you pass a “friend car,” a person driving the exact same car as you in the same color. The person in the “friend car” rolls their window down, honks and waves at you like you’re total BFFs.
11) When you make direct, lingering eye contact with the hot Starbucks barista you have a crush on. What he doesn’t know that he’s the reason you come to THIS particular Starbucks and this one only.
12) If you freakout about losing your wallet, only to discover that you left it at home. Thank God you didn’t already cancel your debit card, because for some reason it always takes the banks FOREVER to send a new one.
13) Going to bed in fresh, warm sheets with just a hint of Bounce.
14) Arriving at an exclusive party and being rushed in ahead of everyone else.
15) When you’ve accumulated enough punches on your punch card to get a free drink/sandwich at your favorite coffee shop.
16) The moment gas drops to an obscenely low price for no reason, so you take the opportunity to fill up right now before it goes back to normal.
17) Seeing something that makes you think about a person you care about. You buy it, and when you give it to them they are just so excited and everything feels right in the world.
18) Why is it that when we have to pee, the closer we get to the toilet, the worse the pee gets? Letting that pee out, a definite “aah” moment.
19) The smell of baked goods in the morning or late in the evening.
20) Any live Beyoncé Youtube video you could ever watch.
21) Dancing in your underwear to your favorite song in your apartment, the music blasting as loud as it goes.
22) Sharing the elevator in your apartment building with this hot guy you’ve never seen before, only to realize that he’s your new neighbor. Immediately open Grindr, hope he’s on it.
23) When there’s a line from your favorite television show that’s so funny you have to share it on Facebook. A personal favorite from 30 Rock:
Cerie: I’m so glad to see that women in their 30s can still get married.
Liz: Cerie, I’m 42.
Cerie: …I don’t know what that is.
24) Today’s outfit. You better WERK it, Miss Gurl.
25) When you’re at a store and you’re next in line but the person ahead of you is taking FOREVER. Too many fucking Christmas ornaments. But, poof, a new sales person materializes out of thin air and says the magic words: “I can take the next person here.” Ah, relief.
26) If somebody tells you that you made a difference in their life.
27) Doing absolutely nothing on Sunday, except for staying in your pajamas and binging on Netflix, calling your girlfriends, and eating Apple pie.
28) A back rub.
29) When “your person” doesn’t get voted off, though they were in the bottom two this week AND last week.
30) Jamming to 90s music and reminiscing about the simplicity of being in middle/high school. SWV, NSYNC, TLC, En Vogue, Brandy, Monica, Shanice, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees.
31) When you discover something absolutely life changing you never knew about, like hair chalk!
32) Wondering what could POSSIBLY be in store on the season finale of Homeland this Sunday. The feeling of anxiety we will have as we watch shit go down.
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I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”
To begin, I got totally screwed over in the dental genes department. I was born with a pretty severe overbite and a mouth that was too small.