16 Signs You Are Black
1) You have been asked why you “talk white” even though you’re unsure what “talking white” means.
2) A person has approached you and asked to touch your hair.
3) You cringe whenever Tyler Perry drops a new movie because you disagree with the way it portrays black Americans and the mammy figure. See the movies anyway.
4) A person you are interested in has said that they just don’t date black guys/girls. Leaves you feeling confused.
5) You take an African-American Studies class and everyone thinks you automatically know all the answers, everyone looks at you when the prof asks a question.
6) You can read someone for filth.
7) You have an older relative who still tells you that white people can’t be trusted.
8) A person has told you that you aren’t like “other” black people they know. Be unsure what that means, really.
9) You are the person a racist person references when they say, “I’m not racist, I have a black friend.”
10) You feel awkward when somebody displays a Confederate flag.
11) A person goes through your iPod and is actually surprised you don’t have any rap.
12) A person tells you that New Haven isn’t that safe, but YOU will be A-OK because you’re black. Want to tell them that they will be OK at Bergdorf’s because they are white.
13) If you’ve ever been on “punishment.” White kids get grounded. My ass was on “punishment.”
14) You know what it’s like for people to believe your successes are simply the aftermath of diversity programs geared towards minorities. You’re not successful because you have an innate talent or a superior ability or anything.
15) A black person has told you that you aren’t black enough.
16) People say that you are forever pulling “the race card.” You have never seen this alleged “card” people keep talking about.
Buy it today.
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I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”
To begin, I got totally screwed over in the dental genes department. I was born with a pretty severe overbite and a mouth that was too small.
If this doesn’t become the biggest video on the Internet, then I have no faith left in humanity.
Describe for us the threesome with your OKCupid hookup.