20 Things I Miss About Being In My 20s
1. Waking up somewhere between 12 p.m. and 2 p.m. When I was in my 20s, I regularly slept well into the afternoon, especially in the summers and when I was home from college. Granted, I always slept late because I was up all night playing video games, being ridiculous or just generally avoiding sleep, mostly because I felt like I’d be missing something if I went to bed. Now that I’m 30 (OMG!), I can make it to 10 a.m. or possibly 11 a.m. before I get anxious about doing nothing.
2. Going out until 6 a.m. I used to be the king of going out until the sun came up. I’m in my 20s — there’s nothing that pressing to do! My friends and I used to hit up clubs in the East Village and roam the streets of New York City before having breakfast at Odessa or Cafeteria and getting back to our apartments deep in the a.m.
3. Turning 21.
4. Adventures. In my 20s it was so much easier to just up and do things — take road trips, pull pranks on people, camp out, have sex in weird places, etc. It’s not that you can’t do those things when once you ditch your 20s; it’s more that you have to rearrange your schedule, get time off work, take a disco nap, worry about getting arrested, find a baby sitter, tell your boy/girlfriend where you’re going, and all that stuff is just so time-consuming, maybe it’s better to just stay home, ugh.
5. Being in college. People talk shit about their college years, and everybody has a different college experience. I loved college. It was like living in this magical zone of protected playtime and experimentation where you had a lot of sex, protested against “The Man,” gained 15 pounds and perhaps attended a class or two when it was convenient.
6. Thinking 25 was old.
7. Adding people on Facebook because they were hot, no tea no shade. Facebook came out in my junior year and nobody really knew what it was for or what to do with it. So I would search for all the guys who said they were interested in guys at my college and added them if they were hot. You did it too — don’t front!
8. Living in Europe. When are you ever going to be able to just roam through Europe for no good reason?
9. Sneaking into nightclubs/using Fake IDs to get into nightclubs.
10. The first iPhone. I remember when the Motorola RAZR was the phone. You were like a total hasby if you didn’t have the RAZR. But then the iPhone came out and everybody was gagging. An iPod! A phone! A breakthrough Internet communicator! An iPod! A phone! A breakthrough Internet communicator! I was living in France when it was announced and I bought one the second it was available. There was nothing like turning that bitch on for the first time.
11. Sneaking out of the house. Realizing I didn’t get caught when I got back home. Madmo mommy was strict!
12. Feeling like anything was possible.
13. Being in living situations that were slightly awkward. Like most people in their mid to late 20s, I’m at a point in my life where most of my friends float in the same social words as I do. But when you’re in your early 20s, sometimes your friendships and living situations are out of your control. One year I lived in what was essentially a frat house. I’d been living overseas for so long and needed a place in America right away. Picture it: a gold sequin jacket wearing gay boy in a house full of PBR drinking Republican bros. How’s that for a photo op!
14. All my friends from college who I said I would never lose touch with, who I actually did lose touch with.
15. The feeling of getting into graduate school. I remember exactly where I was when I got into my top choice Ph.D. program. I was sitting at a café with my best friend, and we were probably talking about something urgent like the most recent Sex and the City episode when I got a mysterious phone call from a 203 area code, and I knew exactly who it was.
16. Feeling like you don’t have responsibilities. The reason our 20s feel so great is because we’re in this middle ground where we’re Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman (#BritneySpears), and it seems like the only person we have to answer to is ourselves.
17. The time I went to see Madonna in Boston on my birthday and some stranger gave me a third row ticket just because.
18. Feeling invincible.
19. Sex and the City.
20. Hitting on the hot 20-something without being the creepy old daddy nobody wants to talk to.
I’m 30 now but whatever. I still get carded, bitch, and everybody thinks I’m like 25 max #blackdontcrack.
A | A | A
You’re not nice, honey, you’re bitter.
If you can’t afford to tip. EAT. AT. HOME. In fact don’t eat at all. Go starve and die.
“GET OFF HER HAIR, IDIOT!”
I’m not made of porcelain and I’m not going to break if you use the wrong words or reveal yourself to be a terrible person.