Thought Catalog
May 15, 2017

What Your Summer Fling Will Be Like According To Your Zodiac Sign

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Montse Monmo

1. Aquarius

A camp counselor with boatloads of charitable works under his belt who plays guitar and knows at least three Leonard Cohen songs by heart. He either has a man bun or used to and has definitely spent at least one summer living in a tent at some point.

He’s gentle and kind of ethereal to a fault and while you really love that about him, even you’ll get tired of him never being on time by the time August rolls around.

2. Pisces

It’s hard to tell what he’s actually like because he’s long distance and he leaves you alone except when he sends you killer Spotify playlists and talks about how great it will be when you see each other. The two of you will take on the challenge of reading the exact same books and then texting about it all day.

He’s just enough and not too much and when you do see each other, which is only twice over the whole summer, it’s amazing.

Bonus points if you never learn his name because you’ll feel even more like you the experience was genuine.

3. Aries

He rock climbs as soon as the weather warms up, is a man’s man in a back-slapping, cursing kind of way but never forgets to treat you like a lady in the old school chivalrous ways that have almost disappeared from the face of the Earth. Example, he waits until your food arrives to begin eating and waits for you to sit down before he does. He does these things unconsciously and naturally.

You’ll feel like you can trust him after just a week of knowing him. He’ll also tighten every screw in your house and fix the brakes on your car all without asking.

At the end of the summer, he’ll simply migrate to a place with warmer mountains. You’ll miss him and he’ll write you the sweetest letter you’ve ever gotten.

You’ll later take up rock climbing.

4. Taurus

This guy is crazy about you for you and, most importantly, he has no interest in changing you at all. The sex is both amazing and intimate and he really seems to get you. He listens to you talk about your dreams and fears and for weeks you feel totally accepted and understood.

By the end of July, however, you’ll get an itch in the back of your brain but won’t know what it is. In August you’ll realize it’s that you haven’t had an argument in two months and dump him for not being career driven enough.

He won’t understand why but you’ll feel amazing and will promptly hookup with the first guy at the bar who disagrees with you. It’ll be incredible.

5. Gemini

You will have two summer flings going on at the same time. They will eventually meet but by that time you’ll be so used to the idea of dating them both that you won’t understand why they’re angry.

You will die alone.

6. Cancer

You will meet a Taurus. You will marry him because he really loves his mother.

7. Leo

Holy crap, Leo! Your favorite summer fling absolutely gets everything you’re putting down from the tiny 80s fashion nods to the reason you’re right about pretty much every opinion you’ve ever had. From morning until night you’ll be reminded just how awesome it is that they’ve met you.

By August you’ll be interested in totally different music and fashion, music and fashion he doesn’t know anything about. He will instantly become boring and you’ll wonder what you ever saw in him. By September 1st you won’t remember his name or any of your own nods to 80s fashion.

8. Virgo

You’ll randomly meet a veterinarian at the grocery store while vegan bacon and tofu noodles (which are delicious). He will also be a certified large animal vet who’s friendly with a number of horse owners. You will ride the open fields with him and collapse into kisses in the tall grass.

In July you’ll go to his apartment for the first time ever and it will be an absolute mess. Within a week you’ll be looking for the door out of this filthy relationship and by August you’ll be sending him a breakup text while buying Clorox wipes in bulk at Costco.

9. Libra

For fear of starting an argument, you’ll concede to be the boyfriend of a guy you don’t like at first but grow to like a lot by July at which point he will have realized you didn’t like him that much when you started seeing him and want to break it off.

You’ll confess that you’re really into him now but weren’t sure at first. He’ll be very happy and for a week you’ll have earth-shattering sex. On August 1st, you’ll realize that you didn’t really like him that much at all and just felt like you were supposed to like him.

When school starts again you’ll head back to college without seeing him because you don’t want to fight about it.

10. Scorpio

You will meet a super sexy bro who tells you that you’re right all the time and believe you’ve met the first sane man in your entire life. You will believe this man is your soulmate. You’ll write the first love poem you’ve written in years about him and hide it away.

In late July, you’ll dump him because you thought he was cheating on you when he was actually just telling his mom he loved her before hanging up the phone.

When you tell your friends about him, you’ll use the nickname “Dramadude.”

11. Sagittarius

You will travel to five different countries and have five different summer flings all of which will be intellectually intense despite being very short.

You will promise to stay in touch with all of them but will get back with your ex when you get home instead.

12. Capricorn

You will find a man who is perfect in almost every way and then force him to change that one imperfection. This will happen. Nothing will stand in your way and no one can tell you any differently. TC mark

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