Thought Catalog
December 2, 2013

How To Get The Guy, Lose Weight, And Start Your Dream Job

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What is the issue?

Every single day I hear women (myself included) constantly complaining or stressing about the following: boys, their body, food, texting boys, bitches.

If you aren’t familiar with what I’m talking about, let me share some examples…

“Jason hasn’t texted me in three hours and I’m freaking out. What did I do wrong? Does he hate me? Omg I’m gonna cry. What a douche…. I hate him. Ugh but like I hope he still likes me.” 

*10 minutes later

“Omg he just texted me. He was in a meeting!” 

Makes sense since it is 2pm and most people are at work. SO WHY THE EFF WERE YOU STRESSING OUT?!?!/going through every emotion possible in one text. If I didn’t text you back for three hours would you have an anxiety attack? The answer is no, you’d realize I was busy whether I was at work, napping, working out, watching a movie, or maybe my phone just died. But still, most of us are guilty to this texting anxiety to some extent…*cough cough* myself included.

Okay, so what about this scenario….

You’re out to lunch with your BFFs 

“Ugh I have to get a salad with like no dairy, gluten, dressing, or protein. I’m on a new diet. Oh my gosh are you really getting the cheese fries… those have like 1,000 calories.” 

Um… okay, bitch, cheese fries are delicious and you’re eating lettuce

Okay, and then after lunch most of your friends talk about how full and fat they feel. REALLY?! YOUR SALAD MADE YOU FEEL FAT?!? GOOD JOKE. Then one of your friends is freaking about how Jason won’t like her if she gains weight and how she shouldn’t have had that ONE cheese fry (chances are Jason won’t notice that you gained a pound, even if you did). Now because the salad girls are freaking out, my cheese fry girls are flipping out in their heads about feeling fat and what their friends must think about them. Everyone needs to take a deep breath and realize that no one is going to gain 20 pounds or even 2 pounds from their cheese fries or salad. Do the math (it takes roughly an extra 3500 calories to your regular diet to gain a pound). Oh, and if you did gain 20 pounds, who actually cares?? If you’re happy then screw everyone else because they probably are unhappy or else they wouldn’t be judging you. They should probably get a new hobby besides talking shit about people.

Alright now onto my point, because I could literally go on with examples for an extreme period of time about the unhealthy things we do. Basically, we are always freaking out about things that really don’t matter that much. We are constantly concerned with what men think about us or what other women think about us. But have you ever stopped to think how you actually feel about yourself? If a lot of your inner dialogue is bringing you down, then take another step back and realize you would NEVER say those things to someone else, so why would you say these things to yourself?! You would never call someone else ugly, fat, worthless, etc. so don’t say them to yourself. Duh. When we judge ourselves and judge others we are only bringing down ourselves.

Spending the day hating yourself for either what you ate or what a dumb dude said to you only reinforces the idea that you think you are not good enough. Well, I’m here to say YOU ARE ENOUGH! No boy, no diet, no losing 20 pounds, no competing with another girl will make you feel better in the long run. I repeat, none of that will make you feel better. You are the only one who can make yourself feel good. The more you don’t like yourself, the harder it is for other people to like the actual you (not the you that you think you’re supposed to be) and the more you get caught up in dumb drama. Like I said, you are enough. There is nothing wrong with you! Plus, a lot of things physically are out of your control due to genetics. Learn to love yourself. It will change your life.

Instead of talking/thinking badly about yourself and other women, why don’t you start doing things that make you happy and feed your soul? It’s called self-esteem. Why are you waiting to do the things you love? Why aren’t you living the life you want? Just seriously put all those things aside that are stopping you, like “I’ll talk to that guy when I lose 20 pounds” or “I’ll never get that job. The other girl applying is so much prettier”… just learn to be happy with what you’ve got and work it. If someone else tells you there’s something wrong with you, or is sitting there judging other people, then there is something wrong with them… not you. I’m going to repeat this… if someone is judging you then that’s because they have insecurities and or are just products of our super messed up societal values (if you didn’t know our media and society is really jank). You are ultimately the only one who gets to decide how you feel. Please learn, or begin the journey, to be happy and most importantly love yourself and know you are enough the way you are. When you learn to love yourself the possibilities are endless.

Oh, and remember salads can’t make you fat and that guy is probably just busy. Be present in the moment. Stop freaking out and love yourself and let your freak flag fly, girl.

Note: I’m not saying for women to stop working out, wanting to eat healthy, or stop wearing makeup. I’m saying that if you do do those things, make sure they’re making you happy and not a crazy person. If you don’t like working out or wearing makeup then that’s cool too. Just do you. My point is if something makes you feel terrible about yourself then you probably shouldn’t be doing it. Do things that make you feel good about yourself (and not the things you think will make others like you). TC mark