1. A guy who got a tattoo of his dick on his dick.
“Heard of a guy who got a tattoo of his dick on his dick.”
2. A handicapped symbol right above her vagina.
“I asked my tattoo artist this same question a couple months ago. Apparently, a woman walked into his shop and asked him to tattoo a handicapped symbol right above her vagina. She was not disabled in any way he could see. He went for it. After he was finished, he asked her what it meant and why she wanted it. All she had to say was “What do you think?””
3. A swastika and a peace sign on his balls.
“A tattoo artist I was talking to had his balls tattooed with a swastika and a peace sign.”
4. An eyeball tattooed on his asshole.
“A friend of mine had an eyeball tattooed on his asshole by a buddy of ours while said buddy was tripping on Ecstasy.”
5. Tigger peering into his ass crack with the caption ‘Pooh, are you in there?’
“A friend of mine has two oddball tattoos. One, on his right butt cheek, is Tigger peering into his crack with the caption ‘Pooh, are you in there?’ The other is, across the top of his feet in a gothic font ‘Coroner: Please attempt resuscitation one more time.’ He got that before being deployed to Mogadishu.”
6. The likeness of Count Chocula on a man’s taint.
“My tattoo artist claims to have tattooed the likeness of Count Chocula on a man’s taint.”
7. A white guy who had tattooed both his balls completely black.
“Not a tattooer, but I met a white guy at a concert booth who had tattooed both his balls completely black, I didn’t believe him until he showed me, must have been painful.”
8. A girl with a target tattooed around her asshole.
“Not mine but my tattoo artist’s; he said a girl came in (possible porn star) and got a target tattooed around her asshole. yeah….”
9. A ‘W’ tattooed on each ass cheek. So when he spread them it would say ‘W o W.’
“A guy I went to school with got a W tattooed on each ass cheek. So when he spread them it would say ‘W o W.’ He showed it to people when showering after gym classes.”
10. A guy who has a vagina behind his ear with flies around it.
“Personally know a guy who has a vagina behind his ear with flies around it, same guy also has a girl with titty tassels on the side of his face AND a stripper complete with fishnet stockings and tits out on the back of his head…”
11. A chick who had ‘spit first’ tattooed right above her asshole.
“I knew a chick who had ‘spit first’ tattooed right above her asshole.”
12. A hot dog in a leather jacket with a bottle of ketchup and mustard in each hand.
“My brother went on a bachelor party to Montreal and one of the guys was a tattoo artist. While everyone was hung over one morning, one of the guys asked for a tattoo from the tattoo artist (who brought is gear). The hung over guy said, ‘Just do whatever you want, but nothing offensive.’ To this day on his upper calf he has a picture of a hot dog in a leather jacket (the Fonz), with a bottle of ketchup and mustard in each hand. And in a crest around the hotdog-Fonz it says, ‘I miss dinosaurs.’”
13. A tattoo on his ass of a little caveman waking across his butt. And there are footprints behind the caveman.
“I know someone who has a tattoo on his ass of a little caveman waking across his butt. And there are footprints behind the caveman. The footprints are tattoo blue before they go in the crack and brown after they come out. I’ve never seen it and I don’t want to, but it’s been verified by plenty of other people.”
14. An old lady who wanted clown makeup tattooed on her face.
“My buddy use to have this artist guest spot at his shop. So one time when I was getting tattooed, he told the worst tattoo story I’ve ever heard. So the artist lives in a rural town, and not many new people come looking for work. One day this old lady comes in and asks for clown makeup tattooed on her face, the artist says No for obvious reasons and she leaves. The next day she comes again, this time it’s only a new artist working. This younger guy at the shop was hurting for cash at the moment and agreed to tattoo the clown makeup on her face. Little did he know that the lady had a severe mental disability. A few days later detective show up at the shop asking about the woman and the encounter with her. Turns out after she came to from her episode and realized what she did, and she killed herself.”
15. A tattoo of a girl’s face on/in her ass, she spreads the cheeks and the mouth was her asshole.
“Saw a nasty stripper, she bends over and has a tattoo of a girl’s face (not hers) on/in her ass, she spreads the cheeks and the mouth was her asshole. It wasn’t really a good tattoo either, and without the cheeks spread it looked the face was an alien. I gotta wonder what the artist who did that was th/drinking.”
16. She had a tattoo of a strawberry on her vagina right above her clit, and he said he wanted one on his tip.
“So my brother runs a tattoo/piercing shop, and a guy came in wanting to get a matching tattoo with his gf. She had a tattoo of a strawberry on her vagina right above her clit, and he said he wanted one on his tip. So, he now has a strawberry tip and my brother is scarred for life. The same dude came back 2 months later saying they broke up and had my brother just tattoo over it with black since laser removal was a nope for that. Then proceeded to get a Prince Albert. He was never seen again. That crazy fucker.”
17. Bowser wearing sunglasses playing a double deck guitar on a surfboard…
“Bowser wearing sunglasses playing a double deck guitar on a surfboard with ‘Happy Birthday Rick’ written above it and a cross an a pot leaf as the background.”
18. The word “White” was on his right eyelid and “Power” on his left.
“Not a tattoo artist, but one day while working at a motorcycle shop in southern Arizona I had the misfortune of helping a customer with ‘white power’ tattoo on his eyelids. The word “White” was on his right eyelid and “Power” on his left. I spotted this when he blinked and as soon as he knew I saw it he looked at me and said “It’s so when your sneaky Mexican cousins kill me in my sleep they will know I died dreaming of killing their families.” I kid you not, I will never forget that day.”
19. A guy with a full-sized baby skeleton on his calf.
“Guy I know got a full-sized baby skeleton on his calf because the girl he was seeing decided to terminate a pregnancy that was 4 weeks along.”
20. A red devil with a giant hard-on.
“Not me, but when I got my first tattoo the artist told me about a guy he, or a guy in his shop, tattooed before.
Apparently, this guy wanted the same tattoo on both of his arms of a red devil with a giant hard-on. The guy was, according to the tale, a gay porn star who was about to shoot a video where he was raped by Nazis.”
21. A Pinocchio tattoo. The nose was on his penis.
“Saw a picture of a dude with a Pinocchio tattoo. The nose was his penis.”
22. A full back piece…Hitler with an eight-inch swastika at the bottom…on a Mexican.
“Was asked to take a look at some Mexican (relevant to the story) guy’s tattoo because he wanted to get it touched up. Standard procedure. Guy is 6’3″-5″. Pulls up his shirt to reveal a full backpiece, from his ass to his neck, of a portrait of Hitler with an 8-inch swastika juxtaposed on the bottom. The tattoo was actually done really well and I told him I didn’t think it needed a touch up. I had to ask why he got that tattooed and his reply was to celebrate his German heritage. All I could think was; Lederhosen? Bratwurst? Oktoberfest? Maybe try those before going full on love letter to the Führer?”
23. A guy who had his penis tattooed like a rocket and his balls were the exhaust.
“Friend claimed he knew a guy who had his penis tattooed like a rocket and his balls were the exhaust.”
24. Elmer Fudd aiming a rifle at his anus.
“My uncle was a ME (medical examiner) and says the most interesting tattoo he saw was one of Elmer Fudd, dressed in his hunting clothes, aiming his rifle at the anus with a text bubble over it saying, ‘Come out of there you wascally wabbit!’”
