Glorious Gluttony: 40 People Confess Their Epic Tales Of Overeating
1. I ate $25 worth of sushi, threw up, then ate another $25 worth of sushi.
“Was hung over so decided to get food delivered but since I was in a pit of self-loathing I chose to get sushi (which I love but is not a great hangover food) because it’s healthier. Unfortunately, to get free delivery meant I had to order of $50 worth of sushi which was heaps of food. So I ordered it with the intention of having lunch and dinner for that day and lunch for work the next day. I then proceeded to eat half the sushi, throw up and then immediately eat the other half. It was both amazing and awful at the same time.”
2. I ate an Egg McMuffin while waiting in the Burger King drive-through.
“I once ate an Egg McMuffin waiting for my food in the Burger King drive-through.”
3. I ate three desserts last night with three different people.
“I went out for dessert three times last night with three different people.”
4. I ate twenty donuts during one subway ride.
“I was at a program at Columbia University, and for the first time I was free from my parents. One fine weekend day, I decide that I’m craving donuts. I see that there’s a Dunkin’ Donuts a ways away, so I hop on the Subway and make my way downtown. Order 20 donuts, get them put into a huge box, and then decide to have one on the ride back. And then two. Turns out donuts are really good. By the time I had gotten back to my room, I had already cleaned the box out and eaten all 20.”
5. I ate eight full meals, half a sheet of brownies, pie, dates, and then asked my wife to pick me up a soda.
“So this is not normal for me but yesterday I ate like 8 full meals, half a sheet of brownies, pie, way too many dates, and then asked my wife to pick me up a soda when she went out. No matter how much I ate all day I was fucking starving. Either I have a tapeworm or I’m fucking pregnant.”
6. I ate a Subway footlong, a McDonald’s quarter pounder large meal, a chicken burger, a small pizza, and a half-tub of ice cream.
“After college I was feeling a bit hungry so I went with my friend to Subway and got a footlong, was still hungry so got on a bus and went to McDonald’s and got a quarter pounder with cheese large meal and demolished it I then got home still hungry so I ordered a cali (kebab place) and I had to spend more than £10 to get it delivered so I got a chicken burger meal a small pizza and a tub of ice cream (cali is super cheap!) I of course ate it all apart from half of the ice cream and left some pizza for the next day. This was all in the space of about 4pm to 11pm and I was in size 8 clothes at the time!”
7. I ate two pounds of chocolate butter, then ate chocolate buttercream frosting.
“Tried making chocolate buttercream frosting, from memory, but ended up making a about 2 pounds of chocolate butter. I ate the whole thing. Then I made the frosting correctly and ate half of it.”
8. I ate four buffalo chicken sandwiches from Sheetz topped with mozzarella sticks, fried pickles, mac & cheese bites, and double bacon.
“I was day-drinking and ate 4 buffalo chicken sandwiches from Sheetz. Each sandwich had a different specialty topping as follows: mozz sticks, fried pickles, mac & cheese bites, 2x bacon.”
9. I ate two Krystal’s burgers, fries, a milk shake, and two tacos.
“Not me alone. My husband participated, too. We had been on a healthy eating kick for a few months and working out 4-5 times a week. One night, he asks me if I want to have a cheat meal. I laugh and said that I wouldn’t be able to choose. He said okay and we ended up getting a sackful (12) of Krystal’s, a 12-pack of tacos from Taco Bell (add tomato), two large fries from McDonald’s, and one vanilla shake from Sonic. We ended up eating 2 Krystal’s burgers, half of one thing of fries, a quarter of the shake, and 2 tacos apiece. Everything else sat in our fridge and made us feel sick to our stomachs every time we opened the refrigerator. My stomach hurt for days! Never again.”
10. I ate a double Angus bacon cheeseburger, a bag of Dorito’s, and a roll of Pillsbury cookie dough.
“After eating a double Angus bacon cheeseburger, I went to the grocery store and bought a bag of Dorito’s, a 2L bottle of Mountain Dew, and a roll of Pillsbury cookie dough. I ate all of it while watching the Dark Knight in bed and then ordered a donair.”
11. I filled a bag of Dorito’s with chili and cheese and ate it.
“Got a bag of Dorito’s and opened it while still in the store, took it over to the hot dog station and filled it with chili and cheese. It was delicious.”
12. I deep-fried some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.
“Deep-fried some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. No regrets.”
13. I ate seven frozen mac-and-cheese meals in one sitting.
“I once made like seven of those frozen mac-and-cheese meals, combined them into one bowl, and ate it all.”
14. I sandwiched a grocery-store trip in between two Costco hot dogs.
“The other day I ate a Costco hot dog while I drove to a different grocery store. When I was done shopping there, I ate the second hot dog I left in my truck.”
15. I ate a warm, gooey, caramelized Twix-donut sandwich.
“Cut a donut in half, chucked it in the toaster to caramelize the sugar on the outside, made a Twix-donut sandwich with it, ate it while it was still warm.”
16. I ate an entire Deep n’ Delicious cake by myself in one sitting.
“I ate an entire Deep n’ Delicious cake by myself in one sitting. Power went out and it was going to melt.”
17. Two weeks of Disney World gluttony.
“Go to Disney World for 2 weeks. 3 meals a day consisting almost solely of a giant ass cheeseburger, a huge portion of chips/fries and a massive oversized full-sugar coke. Oh and Mickey Waffles. Gained about a stone.”
18. I ate a whole KFC bucket myself.
“Finished a KFC bucket by myself. Oh, the shame and guilt…”
19. I ate a twelve-pack of Passion Flakies.
“My boyfriend has made it a habit to buy me a box of Passion Flakies for every special occasion. Christmas? Passion Flakies. Valentine’s Day? Passion Flakies. Birthday? Passion Flakies. Every time he gets me a 12-pack, I’ll eat the entire box in one sitting.”
20. I ate a whole Bigfoot pizza from Little Caesar’s.
“Ate a whole Bigfoot from Little Caesar’s. Remember those?”
21. I drank honey mustards from McDonald’s.
“The fast-food worker gave me a few too many honey mustards from McDonald’s and I didn’t want to waste them, so I drank the remaining ones.”
22. I once tried to polish off a bag of Dorito’s by pouring the rest into my mouth.
“I once tried to polish off a bag of Dorito’s by pouring the rest into my mouth. But I missed and dumped crumbs all over my chest hair. That is what you call rock bottom.”
23. I ate Fruit Loops dipped in Marshmallow Fluff (I was high).
“I was high once and I scooped Marshmallow Fluff out of the jar and dipped it into Fruit Loops and ate it. I have never tasted anything that delicious since that day, but looking back on it is nasty af.”
24. I ate an entire KFC Family Feast on a dare.
“Ate an entire KFC Family Feast (Australia) on a dare—15520 kj/3709kcal—and about 6 bottles of beer.”
25. I ate a KFC sandwich where the buns were replaced with fried chicken.
“KFC made this sandwich where the buns were replaced with fried chicken. And there was chicken inside, a ton of cheese and fried chicken on the outside. Delicious, but man, what shit was dripping with hot fat all over the table. They still do it, occasionally, and put it up on giant posters, and it looks good… but man, can’t get myself into eating that again. So I settle for a 4-person bucket and eat it alone. Go figure.”
26. I ate a one-pound cheeseburger and an order of fries.
“I ate a 1lb cheeseburger with all the fixings and an order of fries recently. That or the large pizza I ate last month in one sitting.”
27. I ate a jar of fudge topping with a spoon in a movie theater.
“Took a jar of fudge topping and a spoon into a movie theater. Was delicious and fat.”
28. I ate focaccia bread packed with delicious smoky brisket fat.
“I was in Whole Foods one day and as I was passing the deli I saw them taking briskets out of the smokers and decided to watch. Now I tend to like my brisket with a nice layer of fat on it since it’s fucking delicious, obviously. Well apparently the snooty fucks that normally shop at Whole Foods don’t like it and weren’t prepared for my unsophisticated Westbank self. As he is trimming the brisket I ask him if he could not throw the layer of fat away and wrap it up instead. He asks if I’m serious. I assure him I am. He wraps it up with a confused look on his face and even gives it to me for free. Then I make my way to the bread isle and pick out a nice focaccia. I bring it all home and proceed to eat that delicious smoky brisket fat in that delicious fresh bread. IT WAS FUCKING GLORIOUS AND I REGRET NOTHING.”
29. I eat cheeseburgers and fries while DRIVING home.
“I’m a fat guy, so I do plenty of fatty things. The worst though? If I get a take cheeseburger and fries…I eat it DRIVING home.”
30. I ate twenty Ruby Tuesday’s “blondies” in one sitting.
“I went to eat with a Friday at Ruby Tuesday’s and he ordered the blondie that they have (never had it before, so what the hell). That shit was delicious. So the next week I place an order for 2 pieces. I get there to pick it up and the guy misheard what I said and I had a 20-piece, $40 order of blondies in like 3 bags. I said fuck it, paid the man, went back to my apartment and devoured every last one of them. I felt like shit, I had a headache for a week and I was broke as hell after paying rent but damn it if it wasn’t worth it…”
31. I ate a McDonald’s Double McRib Meal Deal and a Whataburger Thick and Hearty Meal and ate both.
“Got really high and couldn’t decide between the Double McRib meal deal and a Whataburger thick and hearty meal, so I got both, fries and sodas included. Ate every last bite.”
32. I ate four Big Macs and an order of fries.
“I ate four Big Macs and a small fry in one sitting, but before I ate it all, I took a picture of the whole meal unwrapped on a plate and sent it to a friend of mine that is trying to lose weight just because I’m a horrible human being.”
33. I licked chip dip off my chest while laughing uncontrollably.
“I was really high and eating chips naked in bed. I ended up dropping dip all over my chest and laughing uncontrollably while I tried to lick it off.”
34. I ate two three-scoop ice-cream cones and brought a tub of ice cream home every night for four nights in a row.
“Went to an ice-cream parlor, ate two 3-scoop ice-cream cones and brought a tub home every night for four nights in a row. I just couldn’t get enough.”
35. I ordered a pizza because I wanted a soda but didn’t wanna get up.
“Ordered a pizza because I wanted a soda but didn’t wanna get up.”
36. I drank cake mix like it was a cake-flavored milk shake.
“OMG was 15 with a friend got high and drunk and we DRANK cake mix. drank it. Drank it. Like a cake-flavored milk shake. When we were done we looked at each other like we committed a murder together.”
37. In response to being skinny-shamed, I ate a pizza, five chicken legs, and a large bowl of curry.
“I once ate an entire medium-sized pizza, 5 fried chicken legs, and a large bowl of curry all because an obese acquaintance from high school was skinny shaming me at a party. I was 15, 5’4 and about 130 pounds but I looked like I was 110 because it was all muscle. He shut up after that.”
38. I ate pounds and pounds of Dutch food.
“Went to a friend’s place for dinner when the weekend started. We decided to order what the Dutch call a kapsalon (it’s fries, kebab, some lettuce and molten cheese topped of with garlic sauce and sambal), they are pretty big usually. Two hours later we had some drinks and ordered another one ánd three ‘frikandel speciaal’s’ (another Dutch snack) with it. I felt nothing but regret the morning after.”
39. I would often eat a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts.
“In college I used to frequently buy a dozen of Krispy Kreme donuts and would consume all of them within a span of roughly 24 hours. I was 19-20 at the time and had a fast metabolism so I didn’t really get fat, but it was definitely the fattest act (or set of acts) that I’ve engaged in.”
40. Fell asleep eating. Woke up and just continued eating.
“Fell asleep eating. Woke up and just continued eating.”