5. He cut open his scrotum with scissors and his testicle was hanging out.
“Dude came into hospital after opening up his scrotum with a pair of scissors. His story was that he was looking for something but couldn’t remember what. His testicle was hanging out, the paramedics had over zealously bandaged it and caused some ischaemia. No history of medical illness or drug use, just a normal looking dude who went looking inside Schrödinger’s sac.”
6. A flashlight was shining out of the fellow’s orifice.
“I did not witness this myself, but I heard one story involving a flashlight shining out of the fellow’s orifice.”
7. Was it because he ate carrot soup two days before?
“My aunt is a doctor (and usually pretty strict about her vow of silence) and one day this old guy showed up with a carrot stuck in his asshole. It’s obviously awkward, so my aunt decided not to ask too many questions. But the dude was constantly like ‘how did this happen?’ and I SWEAR TO GOD (well, my aunt does) that the guy kept asking if it might’ve been because he’d eaten carrot soup two days before.”
8. Garden gnomes, wine bottles, and a smelly cock.
“First story: Guy comes in looking fidgety in a big coat, female nurse asks initial questions but he demands a male. He gets to see a doctor a bit later, and reveals a garden gnome (quite a little one, but still) that was wedged (at the hat), into his ass. It gets removed, he blames an elaborate fall from a ladder, laughter follows and all seems well. Then…another guy comes in with the EXACT SAME THING! Turns out you’re not hardcore until you’ve been to an ass-gnoming party.
Second story: Starts the same but he looks in severe pain. Again—in comes a request for a male nurse. Then the reveal…this guy was using a wine bottle for some butthole pleasure, got carried away and managed to create some suction from within the bottle. He yanks it out and out comes a bit of the inside of his ass, some bile and some intestines. He was high on acid, otherwise would likely have collapsed on discovery. :)
Third story: Jamaican guy comes in with a ‘smelly cock’; he wasn’t lying—it reeked. Through a quick interview it turns out this married guy had recently started banging a girl on the side who was ‘wild’ and had taught him a neat trick. Put a rubber band on the base of your cock and it gets ‘real ‘ard maan.’ However, you must remember to remove it. Captain Monogamy had forgotten. The rubber band had rolled up and become wedged under his bell end (he was circumcised). It had then attracted an infection while cutting off blood flow to the tip. The man had what can only be described as trench cock. And, sadly, the dick had to go. After finding out of his impending forced castration, his main worry was his wife finding out. What a guy.”
