March 10, 2015

19 Men And Women On Seemingly Innocent Statements They Find Incredibly Sexually Arousing

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Flickr / José Manuel Ríos Valiente
Flickr / José Manuel Ríos Valiente
Found on AskReddit.

1. “I love books.”

swoons

2. “No honey, go sit down. I’ll clean the house.”

BANG

Panties would hit the floor.

3. “I folded all the laundry and took out the trash.”

Well, hello there hot stuff!

4. “I’ve had an exhausting but rewarding day taking care of orphaned puppies at the local animal shelter.”

I want you. Now.

5. “I baked this cake for you.”

You had me at cake.

6. “Yes, sir.”

boom

7. “I just cleaned out the litter box.”

Yup, turns me on every time.

8. “Let me shovel that walk for you.”

I’m so fucking sick of shoveling snow. I would honest-to-God happily trade all kinds of freaky sex for the service. You know how guys look at a hot chick in cutoff shorts washing a car? That’s how I’d look at an average guy in a hat with earflaps and carrying a shovel.

9. “Can you play a game with a good story so I can watch you play?”

If a girl said that to me I’d be thinking wife material ha-ha.

10. “Do you want to talk about Game of Thrones while I make you spaghetti?”

Wins a BJ every time…

11. “Although Kafka’s stories suggest hopelessness, the fact that he draws attention to the problem of meaninglessness is itself meaningful, and gives me hope.”

I would be wet by the end of that sentence. In fact….excuse me.

12. “I’d just like to interject for a moment. What you’re referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.”

Oh god take me now.

13. “Why yes, I WOULD love to rub your back and watch you play WoW for two hours while you drink coffee and eat bacon.”

Get. Up. In. There.

14. “Hey, wanna watch cartoons while we cuddle? I’ve also got a dog/puppy/cat/goat that’s really sweet.”

I love cute animals and cartoons, what can I say?

15. “My… You’re a strong guy…”

I know, it’s vain, cheesy…works every time.

16. “Want to watch anime?”

My boner heat would dissolve my pants.

17. “I was putting new injectors in my car and realized I didn’t have a 9mm socket.”

Something about a chick who works on cars is so hot.

18. “Hey, do you draw? I like to draw.”

Instant boner.

19. “I washed dishes and folded laundry.”

Add in vacuuming and I’d be nude within seconds. TC mark

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