June 28, 2011

Do Me Like A Porn Star. Or Not…

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What is the issue?

Have you ever been having sex, and suddenly it all feels very contrived?  Like you’re in an amateur porno?  Maybe you haven’t.  I have, and that’s the kind of sex I want to talk about.

I want to start off by saying that I have no problems with porn.  I watch porn.  Most of us at some point or another have watched porn, probably even regularly.  Totally normal.  Ok good, we have established that this is not meant to be an attack on the porn industry.

However.  Just because I watch porn, and appreciate it for all that it is, does not mean that I want to have sex like a porn star.

In porn, the main players are obviously aware that there is someone with a camera standing right above them, or below them, or in front of them, or behind them.  They are therefore performing.  Sure, the sex probably feels good for them.  But it’s all a performance.

The women wear heavy make-up.  They stare into the camera with half-lidded smoky eyes, and they wear lipstick.  Their hair is done.  They make those familiar noises—the screams, the squeals, the cries.  They talk dirty.  This may be a generalization, and there are certainly exceptions to this rule, but it can’t be denied that these are common things found in at least some types of porn.

So, since I am a girl who sleeps with men, I am going to focus on porn of that nature.  In most pornos, the scenes we see are purposely selected because they give us the best views that we can get.  They are fucking in positions so that we, as the viewers watching in our rooms with the door closed, can get the best possible view of the action.  So, the girl is crouched with her ass in the air, or is sitting facing the camera bouncing up and down, or is lying flat on her back so that all you guys at home can get your Point-of-View shots.

Ok, well those positions can be good, right?  Right!  And sometimes, fucking like a porn star is great!  Screaming as you’re getting banged can be a turn-on, for all parties involved!  But other times, I want the non-existent cameras to turn off, and for all the pretenses to disappear.  In real life, my makeup is probably worn off, or smudged when I’m having sex.  My hair probably looks like a birds nest.  And maybe I want to do it in those optimal-viewing positions, but I might not.  Maybe I want you to just lie down completely on top of me, in a position where the peanut gallery would see nothing exciting, but our bodies would be mashed together in a sweaty, rocking union.  So that you could kiss my neck, breathe into my ear, really feel that we are having sex.  Make it messy, make it imperfect, and just go with it.  Listen to your body, and for God’s sake listen to mine. Pay attention to what actually feels good; don’t just focus on what looks familiar because you’ve seen it in a million amateur videos that you’ve been watching online since you were a hormonal 12-year-old living in your parents’ house.

Just pretend the cameras are off, and let’s bang like it’s your hobby, not your job.

How’s that for dirty talk? TC mark

image – © Glenn Francis, www.PacificProDigital.com
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