20 Things You Don’t Have To Do On The Internet
- You don’t have to have a blog.
- You don’t have to join Pinterest.
- You don’t have to “like” Clorox or Dodge or McDonald’s on Facebook.
- You don’t have to use a social media tool the way everybody else is using it, or the way the creators of that tool want you to use it.
- You don’t have to try to be funny on Twitter.
- You don’t have to write about your life.
- You don’t have to check your email every five minutes, or every hour, or even every day, unless it will cause you to lose your job.
- You don’t have to read a book, listen to an album, or see a movie or TV show the second it comes out, or even before it comes out, nor do you need to feel that you have to have something to say about it.
- Corollary: You don’t have to start watching, listening to, or reading something just because everyone is suddenly talking about it on the Internet.
- Corollary to the corollary: You don’t have to explain or apologize for the fact that you only started watching The Wire in 2011 or Breaking Bad in 2012, or that you have no interest in watching either of those shows, or, for that matter, Downton Abbey, Mad Men or Girls.
- You don’t have to post candid video blogs about how your day is going or something that happened to you.
- You don’t have to leave anonymous comments on things that you don’t like. Chances are, it will just make you feel creepy. Instead, think of something thoughtful to say and sign your name to it.
- You don’t have to like popular internet people or blogs just because you feel you’re supposed to.
- If you’re a writer, you don’t have to write in the manner described in this article. In general, you don’t have to write like someone else just because that person is a popular writer, or write about the things that popular writers write about.
- You don’t have to agree to do something (like blog) for free. But if you’re just starting out in a particular field, it’s OK to do something for free.
- You don’t have to compare yourself to the age, station, physical appearance, or talent of another person. Remember that all people used to have to compare themselves to complete strangers was the phone book. Ignorance is bliss.
- You don’t have to “hate-read” other people’s blogs or Twitter feeds or Facebook or Instagram accounts in order to make you feel better about yourself. It won’t work.
- You don’t have to stop doing something in order to tell the internet that you are doing it.
- You don’t have to look at pictures of your exes on Facebook.
- You don’t have to try to become famous.
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To begin, I got totally screwed over in the dental genes department. I was born with a pretty severe overbite and a mouth that was too small.
If this doesn’t become the biggest video on the Internet, then I have no faith left in humanity.
Describe for us the threesome with your OKCupid hookup.
I visited synagogues all over the world—from Syosset, to Beverly Hills, and back again to Jericho. Studies were made, tests were run, I tasted the blood of a virgin Jew and even conducted my very own bris.