Man Doesn’t Realize He Was Shot in the Head for 5 Years
It looks like the Onion could get some inspiration from real-life news headlines, if this story is any indication. A Polish man recently learned that he’d had a bullet lodged in his head for the past five years. According to AP, the man recalls having received a “blow to the head” while partying in the Polish town of Herne on New Year’s Eve five years ago, but he didn’t seek any medical help for the injury at the time.
Recently, the man felt a bump on the back of his head and decided to get it checked out. An x-ray showed “an object” under the skin, and an operation revealed a bullet from a .22 caliber pistol that thankfully hadn’t penetrated the man’s skull.
Police speculate that the stray bullet may have been “fired by a reveler in celebration,” AP writes. Apparently confetti and fireworks just don’t cut it in Herne, Poland.
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It started with a right swipe, a little green heart. Tinder of course.
Though I acknowledge and appreciate the differences in human experiences, and while your heartbreak is (and always will be) uniquely and completely your own, I must urge you to consider that I have been where you are.
With his hat cocked back, body tilted away from his cane, and right forefinger pointing directly at his audience, Joseph Ducreux commands the attention of those viewing his self-portrait.
I was born in 1990; he was born in 1973. I’m 23; he just turned 40.