Recognition I Deserve For Ultimately Deciding Against Sending Specific Texts Late At Night
2. A proud Facebook post from my mother with a lot of exclamation points.
3. A clip package of me presented at the Golden Globes and set to “We’re Going to be Friends” by The White Stripes.
4. A guest appearance on an Emmy-winning episode of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations in which I show him around my apartment kitchen and make him a bagel-turkey sandwich from Trader Joe’s.
5. An all-inclusive stay for four at Atlantis Resort, filmed by the OWN network, followed by the airing of the Oprah-narrated documentary special about me and my accomplishments. This includes a video clip in which I am working at my barista job and a man in a suit walks in with balloons and a camera crew, revealing that I can leave this life behind forever, leaving me crying and jumping up and down a la Nikki Blonksy’s reveal that she had been cast in the film Hairspray at her Coldstone Creamery job.
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Remember, you were in love with this person. It’s irrational to expect to be able to cut him or her out of your life altogether.
Share the good deed you did today. Or yesterday. Please entertain the possibility that there was at least one.
Life can get hectic very quickly, and it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle. What’s important is to take a step back.
I was at a dinner party on the weekend where I was presented with a set menu of meat, meat with a side of meat.