February 24, 2015

To The Girls Who Don’t Date Because They Don’t Give A Damn

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Flickr / David Thompson
Flickr / David Thompson

I was just like you once. No emotions, don’t get attached, choose your friends over guys, and most certainly-don’t date. I think a lot of us go through that stage of life at some point or another, don’t you? Usually those of us that do have a ‘very good reason’ for it. Take mine, for example, parents divorced when I was 4, friends were constantly being cheated on, and just no example of a working relationship ever present in my life.

So of course, I developed my, “I don’t give a damn attitude.” My friends all knew I was the one who didn’t get attached, didn’t have feelings, and thought it was the stupidest thing in the world to change your life and tie yourself down for some boy.

What happens when you get older and all of your friends and everyone around you starts getting engaged? What happens when going out with your single girls turns into going out for one drink with your girls and their boyfriends? What happens when you meet someone that changes everything?

I’ll tell you what, because that’s exactly what happened to me, the girl who never dated. The girl that turned into, the girl in love..

It happened senior year of college. All of my friends were in relationships, getting engaged, moving in together, not partying anymore, typical adult life stuff. I didn’t think that would be me.. no, I had plans. I was going to travel, to see the world, to never be tied down, no emotions, no problems, right? Wrong.

It didn’t take long, from when I saw him for the “first time.” When he first messaged me I had the typical I don’t date attitude, I assumed we would hook up and move on, no big deal, no strings. Just two people having fun and that was it. Nope. It took me four days to completely fall for him. FOUR DAYS. Most people thought I was joking when they found out, they laughed, didn’t believe me. I didn’t believe myself either to be honest. Who was I? Who had I become? I’d never felt this way before about someone. So new and so weird.

So what’s the problem of being an ‘” don’t date girl?” Well I’ll tell you, when you find that special someone that completely steals you away, you don’t know how to act. You try to uphold that hard image you’ve portrayed for so long. “They can’t know I’m attached it’ll make me look weak.” But, is that really how you want to start off with the guy that stole you in four days?

I lost the guy that stole my heart, I lost him because I couldn’t let go of that image I made for myself. The guy that steals you away in four days, he means something. He means more than any other guy you’ve been with. He’s probably the one to be honest. Do you really want to uphold your “image” and lose what you could have as a new image?

I used to think it was stupid that my friends chose to move places with their significant others.. I used to think they were missing out on so much in life. But was it me who was really missing out? Traveling and seeing the world is probably in my opinion one of the greatest things we can do for ourselves.. but isn’t it better to do it with someone we genuinely care for? How is it fair for us to pass up these opportunities with the guys we meet just because ‘we don’t date’? What happens when he was the one? Life is full of too many missed opportunities, and it’s time to start taking chances.

So my advice to all of the ‘I don’t date girls’ is love harder, be more caring, take more chances, and hold on to something special when it walks into your life. You don’t know how many people you’re going to meet that steal your heart in a few days, don’t take that for granted. Don’t be me.

The girl who does date. TC mark

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