Thought Catalog
November 5, 2014

101 Things I Will Teach My Sons

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What is the issue?
  1. Keep your sheets clean.
  2. Keep your socks cleaner.
  3. Keep your fingernails cleanest.
  4. Don’t call her crazy.
  5. She’s not crazy.
  6. Hold the door.
  7. Pay for her dinner.
  8. You’re not entitled to anything in life.
  9. Learn how to iron.
  10. Learn how to cook.
  11. You’re allowed to feel.
  12. Know your strengths.
  13. Know your weaknesses.
  14. Use them wisely.
  15. Your undershirts have a shelf life.
  16. It’s three months.
  17. You need to moisturize.
  18. Your friends don’t have to know about it.
  19. You don’t have to like Call of Duty.
  20. Cheetos aren’t a food group.
  21. That woman is photoshopped.
  22. But so is that man.
  23. Be kind to the nerdy girl.
  24. That was once your mother.
  25. Tailor the suit.
  26. Shine the shoes.
  27. Be gentle to the world.
  28. Clean your messes.
  29. Help clean others’ messes.
  30. Chaos is the order of the universe.
  31. Take a razor to it if it’s sparse.
  32. Take Occam’s razor to it if it’s hairy.
  33. Walk her home and tuck her in.
  34. That girl is your sister, your mother, your daughter.
  35. That skirt isn’t an invitation to stare.
  36. It’s a skirt.
  37. Cologne is not multiple choice.
  38. Axe is not one of those choices.
  39. Ponytails are not for everyone.
  40. Read Austen.
  41. Empathy is wealth.
  42. You owe the world as much as it gave to you.
  43. It’ll tell you how much that is if you listen closely.
  44. That flower tattoo from high school is not a confession of her character.
  45. How you react to someone’s story is a confession of yours.
  46. Some are horror stories.
  47. Be interested in people.
  48. Masculine and impervious are not synonyms.
  49. Know how much you don’t know.
  50. Your brilliance lies in the confession of your ignorance.
  51. Think yourself into oblivion on occasion.
  52. When in doubt, buy the peonies.
  53. So what if she’s taller than you are?
  54. So what if she’s smarter than you are?
  55. It takes two to tango.
  56. Madness is the reality.
  57. A woman is a real woman.
  58. Curves don’t validate.
  59. Lipstick isn’t scary.
  60. Watch her do her makeup.
  61. Appreciate nuances.
  62. Simplicity is sometimes too glorified.
  63. Simplicity is sometimes everything.
  64. Know when to tell the difference.
  65. Eat well.
  66. Eat often.
  67. Hatred comes in many flavors.
  68. None of them are good for you.
  69. Feminism is simple.
  70. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
  71. Travel alone.
  72. Wanderlust is not selfish.
  73. Stay in questionable places.
  74. Tell me you’re at a nice hotel.
  75. Meet the world.
  76. Never leave it.
  77. Grow a ponytail.
  78. Make me lie to you about liking it.
  79. Relieve me when you cut it off.
  80. Arrogance is assuming one reality.
  81. You don’t feel more because you have more money.
  82. You don’t know more because you’ve seen more.
  83. Wisdom is humble.
  84. Meet a once-in-a-lifetime kind of girl.
  85. Let her break you.
  86. Let her see right through you.
  87. Feel scared.
  88. Feel her power.
  89. Marvel at her like you marvel at the top of a mountain.
  90. Be the kind of man she marvels at.
  91. Be protective.
  92. Be defensive.
  93. Be sensitive.
  94. Let her be.
  95. She’s powerful.
  96. She’s brilliant.
  97. She’s a moth in a hurricane.
  98. She’s your calm in the storm.
  99. She’s your equal.
  100. She’s everything you love about the world.
  101. She’s every woman you meet. TC mark
featured image – Lookcatalog

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