Thought Catalog
April 21, 2017

You Might Be On Your Own, But That Doesn’t Mean You’re Lonely

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Allef Vinicius

When you tell people that you’ve broken up with your significant other or just simply that you happen to be single, you tend to get that look and tone of pity. Poor you, so sad that you are all alone.

What these people don’t understand is that, often times when you are alone, that is when you really feel alive.

Sometimes it’s actually the relationship that makes you feel the most isolated. It’s a feeling of true abandonment when you have someone that is physically right next to you but emotionally oceans away. You know they were once there, you know you felt the affinity before. But then it’s like they escaped without even saying goodbye.

Your heart starts screaming at the top of its lungs for some kind of connection but it’s met with silence. Your eyes search their soul for some sort of life but it’s completely empty with a no vacancy sign in its place. When you try to reach out and touch them you feel nothing but indifferent rejection.

That’s what loneliness is. That’s a pain that you’ll never forget.

So when you’re finally truly alone, it is a time to fill your heart with nothing but yourself. You can make yourself feel whole like no one ever has and you live for absolutely no one but yourself.

You begin to remember all the beautiful pieces of you that they had decided to forget. Those oddly shaped pieces that could never quite be mashed into the puzzle that was your ex-lover, now slide perfectly back into the place they belong in your own masterpiece.

When you start to love yourself again, the process feels much like the annual springtime rebirth. It’s reminiscent of those perennials like a daffodil or a lily that starts to poke it’s bulbs through the softening gardens after a long, dark winter. Those first few pops of color bring an instant smile to your face because you know warm sunny days are ahead. Though in the beginning they are still week and lean on each other to grow strong, they will continue to blossom bigger and brighter each day. Then you just can’t help but stand back and admire how beautiful each flower is as it stands on its own again, for the world to see.

The quest for self-love is not always easy but it is always worth it. When you see that you are worthy of your own love, you will want to share it with everyone around you.

The fulfillment from this realization is electrifying. You feel a spark inside you that had been dimmed for so long. You see yourself in a different light, something like a valuable commodity that should be yearned for. You almost start to feel bad for that person that they will no longer have the chance to see you like this. TC mark