1. “Can’t keep my hands to myself! I mean, I could but why would I want to?”
Those students, usually boys, that seriously just cannot keep their hands off of their classmates, class materials, desks, doors, anything really.
2. “I woke up like this.”
No seriously, I snoozed my alarm like 5 times this morning, I don’t even know how I made it here before the morning bell rang.
3. “Nah nah honey, I’m good; I could have another but I probably should not.”
Faculty breakfast, already 3 donuts deep. No Mrs. Johnson I do NOT need another one of your homemade blueberry cake donuts!!
4. “I know that I can’t take no more, it ain’t no lie. I want to see you out that door, baby, BYE BYE BYE.”
When you finally kick out that student that has been a monster since they walked in the door this morning.
5. “Pour up, drank, head shot, drank. Sit down, drank, stand up, drank. Pass out, drank, wake up, drank. Faded, drank, faded, drank.”
It’s the summer and we don’t have to be at work tomorrow! Or it’s just the weekend… or a Wednesday. Whatever, we need a drink.
6. “Y’all gon’ make me act a FOOL. Up in here, up in here.”
The dismissal bell is about to ring. If you make me write a referral in the last 5 minutes of class SO HELP ME GOD.
7. “Why you gotta be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human too?”
The answer was no, you can’t go to the bathroom for the 3rd time this period. Please, don’t tell me you’re going to piss on the floor then.
8. “This girl is on FIYAHHH!”
Just rocked that formal observation, WUDDUP. (..sorry male teachers.)
9. “Is it too late now to say I’m sorry?”
Yes, I know grades close today. No, you can’t make up the 20 assignments you neglected to do all semester.
10. “I don’t have money on my mind, I do it for the love.”
But at the end of the day, we all know this could not be more true about teaching. And if you don’t know this Sam Smith song, look it up right now.