Thought Catalog

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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Don’t treat their leaving as a tragedy. Don’t treat their leaving as a thunderstorm that only rains down on you. Turn their leaving into a new beginning. Turn their leaving into starting over. Turn their leaving into new kinds of love and new kinds of magic.

Seriously, if you had told me a year ago that I would be healthy and happy like I am today, I would’ve called you crazy. I would’ve slightly smiled and just shook my head sadly at you, not believing in my own happiness. Not believing in my own life. In my own talents.

Although time will never erase your trauma, the holes in your heart, and the ashes in your lungs, it will eventually provide you with relief. That void will never be gone. That wound will never be gone. But one day you’ll be able to live with that hurt. You’ll be able to move on with that pain still inside of you.

I’m still all over the place, an anxiety-ridden brain that doesn’t know how to stop or slow down. I’m still so jumbled up and tense that my dreams won’t come true. That my accomplishments won’t matter. That I won’t find love again.

You don’t miss his hand. You just miss having a hand to hold. You don’t miss his lips. You just miss having lips to kiss. And you don’t miss the way he held you when you were hurting. You just miss having someone there for you.

It’s not your fault. It’s not you. It’s just that, she’s the kind of woman who smiles at thunderstorms and laughs at lightening. You’re the kind of man who goes inside. She’s the kind of woman who runs into the rain, and you’re the kind of man who puts up his umbrella.

Wonder when it’s going to go away. This big black hole that has turned into your life. Wonder how people survive this. Wonder if you will die of a broken heart. Think about how that might be easier than living.

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