It’s telling yourself to breathe. Just breathe. But you don’t know how.
This isn’t the life we deserve at all. We weren’t meant to be so scared of failure. To be so frightened of falling. We weren’t meant to live a life full of unchecked boxes. We weren’t meant to concentrate so much on what we are doing wrong, instead of what we are doing that’s right.
They will love every single part of you. And no matter how terrible you can act towards them, no matter what ugly words come flying out of your mouth, they will still love you. Despite it all.
Only after the destruction, will you be able to start rebuilding your heart back up again.
I’m going to therapy to love myself harder. To treat myself better. To care for myself in ways that no one else can. I’m going to therapy to love parts of myself that I haven’t found compassion for yet. I’m going to come to terms with my mistakes, and to accept me for me. The good and the bad parts.
The kind of love that we deserve is warm. The kind that covers us like a blanket, protecting us from the outside darkness. And we deserve the kind of love that feels like a cabin in the woods, the kind that shelters our heart and makes sure it feels held and wanted. We all deserve the kind of love that feels like a safe haven.
Look at failure as a stepping stone to success.
When you need someone to breathe, or to be happy in life, that isn’t love. That’s fear. That’s insecurity. That’s codependency. It’s not love at all.
Even if you don’t have someone to greet you as you walk into your home. Even if you don’t have someone to lay beside you as you fall asleep. Even if you don’t have someone to kiss you each morning. You aren’t alone. You have yourself. And you need to start treating yourself like someone worthy of loving.
Let your life be. Let your life slow down. Everything that you want will come when it needs to. And everything that will come your way, will happen when it is supposed to.