Thought Catalog

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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When love is raw and real and genuine, it’s not going to feel so dark, so lonely. You aren’t going to feel so alone while lying next to someone who you think loves you. You’re not going to feel like the only person in the relationship. You’re not going to feel like you’re the only one trying. Like you’re the only one who actually cares.

You’ll break my heart by smiling at me in the sunshine while I pretend not to notice. You’ll grin, softly, with your dimples glistening in the 90 degree heat. And I will pretend not to want to smile back.

Modern dating is like trying to swim in the Atlantic Ocean just waiting for sharks to attack you. It’s like sitting in the Sahara Desert waiting for the sky to open up and downpour on you. It’s like going to the dentist and realizing that you have five cavities and they forgot to numb you first.

You do not have to be with someone who does not make your heart feel held. Don’t stick by someone who does not stick by you in the same way. Don’t give all your wildfire and your light to someone who does not see beauty in it. Don’t give your everything to someone who gives you nothing.

You could be out with your girls for happy hour, or kicking back on a Sunday watching football with your best friends, when suddenly your heart beats at a scary rate, and you feel like you’re going to be sick. It’s really terrifying to experience this, especially when it seems to be coming out of nowhere. 

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