Don’t treat their leaving as a tragedy. Don’t treat their leaving as a thunderstorm that only rains down on you. Turn their leaving into a new beginning. Turn their leaving into starting over. Turn their leaving into new kinds of love and new kinds of magic.
Seriously, if you had told me a year ago that I would be healthy and happy like I am today, I would’ve called you crazy. I would’ve slightly smiled and just shook my head sadly at you, not believing in my own happiness. Not believing in my own life. In my own talents.
So don’t chase after them when they call you back. Don’t fill their loneliness up. Don’t fill your sadness up with their black heart. Don’t you dare settle for their half-hearted love that will only break you again and again.
Although time will never erase your trauma, the holes in your heart, and the ashes in your lungs, it will eventually provide you with relief. That void will never be gone. That wound will never be gone. But one day you’ll be able to live with that hurt. You’ll be able to move on with that pain still inside of you.
I’m still all over the place, an anxiety-ridden brain that doesn’t know how to stop or slow down. I’m still so jumbled up and tense that my dreams won’t come true. That my accomplishments won’t matter. That I won’t find love again.
She’s smarter to ever run back to you when all you ever did was break her. She’s smarter to ever run back you, the boy who paper shredded her heart. The boy who chose to leave.
You don’t miss his hand. You just miss having a hand to hold. You don’t miss his lips. You just miss having lips to kiss. And you don’t miss the way he held you when you were hurting. You just miss having someone there for you.
It’s not your fault. It’s not you. It’s just that, she’s the kind of woman who smiles at thunderstorms and laughs at lightening. You’re the kind of man who goes inside. She’s the kind of woman who runs into the rain, and you’re the kind of man who puts up his umbrella.
You weren’t the one for her. The right one. The right person. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be the right person for someone else.
Wonder when it’s going to go away. This big black hole that has turned into your life. Wonder how people survive this. Wonder if you will die of a broken heart. Think about how that might be easier than living.