Thought Catalog
November 1, 2016

10 Reasons Why People With Anxiety Have Such A Hard Time Finding Love

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What is the issue?
Noah Kalina
Noah Kalina

1. They over criticize themselves.

They truly believe that they aren’t good enough for the person they are dating and are over critical of every choice they make. They constantly beat themselves over mistakes and can’t get a grasp on their own self-worth.

2. They fear having panic attacks.

They are always tense, anticipating and waiting for a panic attack to begin. Usually they won’t be able to predict when a panic attack could happen, but because of how powerful these attacks can be, they are constantly worried about when it will strike.

3. They view first dates as their personal hell.

They will spend hours trying to give themselves pep talks to have the courage to even go through with a first date. Meeting someone new is absolutely terrifying in the first place, and when you have anxiety, it can be truly petrifying.

4. They won’t settle for just anyone.

Not only are they looking for a good boyfriend or girlfriend, but they are looking for someone who will understand their mental illness. They can’t date someone who is ignorant to their problem, and they need someone who can give them empathy and support.

5. They feel alone with their anxiety.

When you don’t struggle with anxiety, you can’t possibly know or understand what it feels like to be plagued with this illness. People with anxiety always feel alone in their own head, and also hate to feel like a burden to others.

6. They struggle talking comfortably with someone new.

Talking with a stranger is extremely difficult to do for someone with anxiety. They worry about not having enough conversation starters, and fret about the conversation going downhill. They also want to act like they are calm and collected, which is nearly impossible for them to do.

7. They are consumed with thoughts of the relationship ending.

As soon as they are in a great relationship, they start to become concerned about the ending. They can become consumed with thoughts of their partner leaving them out of the blue, or breaking up with them because they found someone better. They are always worrying about ending up alone once again.

8. They worry their significant other deserves someone better than them.

They hate to be a burden, and are usually definite people pleasers. They tend to think that their significant other deserves someone who doesn’t have anxiety, and that they would be better off without them.

9. They will do absolutely anything to avoid confrontation and arguments.

Individuals with anxiety despise any type of confrontation. While some fights can be healthy, they will do anything and everything in their power to ignore or run away from arguments. This can cause even more tension in their relationships, because they will shut their partner out no matter how their significant other approaches the problem.

10. They can start depending on their partner for anxiety related problems. 

They can deal with anxiety on their own. But, when they start to have a wonderful relationship and their partner learns how to comfort them when they are suffering, they worry they might grow dependent on this person. They don’t want to become fully dependent on their boyfriend or girlfriend, because if the relationship ends up not working out, they will have to start all over again. TC mark

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