October 12, 2016

What It Means To Love A Girl Who Has A Mental Illness

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Eli DeFaria
Eli DeFaria

A girl who has a mental illness is someone who has been through a lot. And it doesn’t matter what type of mental illness she has, but just remember that it is in fact an illness. Except that this particular illness can’t be healed with a cast or with surgery. So, be sure to know that you won’t be able to make it go away permanently, but you can do your best to comfort her when she needs it.

Remember that this illness doesn’t mean she is weak. This doesn’t mean she will always need your help. It just means that on some days, she will need your empathy and support on a higher level.

Some days she will go quiet. Some days she will be moody or cross. Some days she will weep on a day you thought was beautiful. Some days she will hide in her bed, unable to get out. And some days she won’t want to go to that event that she was just talking about the other day.

It doesn’t have to make sense to you.

It doesn’t have to be logical. Because it sure as hell does not make sense to her. And she sure as hell wishes she could turn a switch off in her brain to put it back to the correct levels. Believe me when I say, she sure as hell wishes she didn’t have to take those pills, or go to anymore therapy sessions, or have panic attacks that rock her to the very core.

She doesn’t want to have this problem. She doesn’t want to always feel like this. And she wishes you didn’t have to deal with it either.

So, show her that it’s not a burden on you. Show her that it’s not a problem for you. Tell her that you love her, no matter what she has going on in her brain. Kiss her when she is struggling and tell her you aren’t going anywhere. And mean it when you say these things. Mean it when you tell her that you love her. 

Please, please don’t lie to her.

You don’t have to baby her or feel afraid of setting off an alarm. You don’t have to handle her like she’s an infant. Just be kind. Be patient. Show her that she is so much more than her mental illness. Show her that you love all of her, and that you will always, always be her strength whenever she feels to weak to keep going.

Never stop encouraging her. Never stop cheering her on when she can’t be her own cheerleader. And don’t forget to tell her she is mighty and she is strong. Please realize that while she doesn’t need you necessarily, she is human, and sometimes she will need your helping hand along the way. TC mark

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