My heart is too full of life and beauty to accept anything less than the big kind of love. My heart is made up of muscles and beats, that are too strong and resilient to accept anything less than the real thing.
My heart has been through a lot. It has been shattered by boys who only wanted my body. It has been wounded by boys who only wanted me in their drunken states. It has been scarred from backstabbing friends. And it has been broken by a boy who I once loved dearly.
My heart over the years has seen all the damage that has been done by many. It has seen all of the tears. It has seen the grief, and it has felt all of it. My heart has been tossed and shaken, and yet, it still beats for me. I know my heart is not bulletproof and it isn’t made of steel. I know it has wounds that are too deep to fully ever heal.
But, my heart is brave.
And no matter how much I have been damaged by the hearts who didn’t need or want me anymore, my heart has kept my hope alive. It has beat amidst all the chaos and crumbling. And no matter how broken it became, it didn’t stay still for long. It didn’t stay on the ground for long.
I am too lovable to be only half loved. My heart is too full of life and endless bravery to ever settle for an almost relationship now. I know deep down, I don’t want casual. I don’t want drunken hookups and slurred ‘I love yous’. I don’t want any of that.
I want the real deal. I want love that tears down the hate. I want the kind of love that outshines all of the negativity that this world holds in it’s hands. I want the kind of love that is irreplaceable.
And I want the kind of love that doesn’t walk out on me.
I want the type of love that doesn’t terrify me. I want it to make me feel secure and safe, with the knowledge that my heart isn’t going to get hurt this time. I want the type of love that proves my heart was right all along.
And I want the kind of love that only makes my heart grow fuller and wider with someone’s care for me. I want the kind of love that comforts my heart and all it’s muscles. I want the type of love that cleans up my old wounds and heals the tiny holes that my past shot at me me.
My heart has already been through so much. It has been bruised and dropped time and time again. It deserves to know that there is love out there that doesn’t leave. It deserves to know there is love out there that is more beautiful than anything I could have imagined in my wildest dreams.
My heart deserves to be fully loved and to not ever be let go of. And it is too full of life and love for me to ever waste it on someone who doesn’t give a damn.