October 11, 2016

I Will Never Be The ‘Cool’ Girl, And That’s Ok With Me

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What is the issue?

I was never and will never be the cool girl. I’m more of a Bridget Jones type of gal, or a ‘Jessica Day’ sort of chick. I could never amount to being the type of girl everyone wants to be, flawless in every way, with not a string of hair out of place.

But this goes far deeper than looks.

In middle school, I was never truly good at anything. I was terrified of basketballs and anything that had to do with moving my legs. I was petrified of anything that had to with numbers. I was more of a B minus student only getting A’s in English and Chorus class. I didn’t excel in much. I sat at lunch with my twin and best friend every single day, quietly watching the popular crowd look incredibly happy every second of every minute.

Truly, these girls intimidated me. They had the kind of hair that only barbies could have. They had boyfriends by the age of thirteen. And while I hopelessly lusted over a boy who probably didn’t even know my name, they were having the time of their lives. At least to me, that’s what it looked like. And so, I always wanted to be like them.

But then I grew up.

I went to high school. I went to college. I felt at home wherever I went, growing up from being incredibly shy to being a social butterfly. But trust me, I am nowhere near Ms. Perfect.

I still stumble. I make bad jokes. I spill coffee on brand new white shirts. I stutter and freak out when I start to crush on a boy. I still to this day have insecurities. And even though I’m by far more confident than I was in middle school, I think part of that middle school girl will always live inside of me.

While I struggle on some days, as does everyone, I have learned that people don’t want to get to know the ‘perfect people’. And the perfect girl that you want to be? She is far from perfect. And she is struggling just as much as you are. 

I’ve gladly come to terms with me not ever becoming who I wanted to be in middle school. I won’t ever have straight hair that glistens in the sunlight. I won’t ever look flawless without makeup on. I will always trip more than I walk correctly. And I’ll always make jokes that I find hysterical while everyone else around me looks at me in confusion.

And instead of hiding my flaws like I did in middle school, instead of shaming myself for being imperfect, I’m embracing the Bridget Jones inside of me. So what if I look like a hot mess when I wake up in the morning? So what if I suck at math?

So. What?

Embrace your weird. Embrace your flaws. Don’t let the popular crowd have power over you. Don’t let other people tell you that you aren’t smart and that you won’t make anything out of yourself.

Just be you. And watch how successful you will be. Watch how high you fly. And watch yourself soar to new horizons you never thought possible. Be your quirky self.

It’s good to be different. It’s good to not look like or be like everyone else.

Believe me, it’s a good thing. So, stop reaching for perfection. Stop reaching for something that isn’t you. And just be yourself. Because that’s the best you that you could ever be. And that’s the best you that anyone could ask for. TC mark

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