October 11, 2016

I’m Ready For The One Who Doesn’t Keep Me Wondering

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What is the issue?

I’m not 18 anymore and I’m not looking for a cute relationship through snapchat messages or text.

I don’t need you to tell me every other day that you hope that I’m okay. I don’t need you to send me random pics of yourself, I am not a teen anymore and as cute as it might sound I really don’t want this.

I want someone I can go home to and is actually there for me, if I had a bad day or an amazing one, someone who is willing to listen to me and make me laugh, takes me out for dinner or brunch, wants to workout with me and cares.

Someone who lives close, who can be there for me, send me a good-morning text and not random texts at 2am because the time difference is insane.

As much as I want a relationship I just came to the conclusion that I can’t have it with you. I want effort: not the prince charming who wants to come get me at all cost, but the nice guy who just genuinely wants to be with me because he likes me and that’s what he wants.

Someone who is confident, who arranges days out of London, renting a car and driving through the countryside.

I don’t want the greatest love story of all, I just want to be happy and not living in a constant state of ‘what’s going to happen next’ and ‘I just wish if this time I am going to see you for real or it’s just another joke.’

We had it all, could have been a great story, true, but we just didn’t put enough effort into it. Maybe we just didn’t truly want this enough, to actually make it work. We could have been somebody, I just personally choose to be independent and cut off all the cuteness of it.

It was just anxiety dressed up as romance. I will be fine, as usual: I got over worse crushes, I can just add your name on that list. You will keep coming back, when you’ll be drunk or very lonely. I just won’t be around anymore, and no text will be sent back anymore, not to you at least. TC mark

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