Life Lesson #1: Some People Are Just Bad
I have only lived for 21 years, but from a young age I realized that not everyone is going to be the person you want them to be. My life was/is more charmed than that of the average person, but this did not come without many let downs and emotional disappointments along the way. I can remember a majority of the “mean” things that have happened to me over the years. Hell, I can probably chronicle them word for word and publicly shame these people online. But that is not the point of this piece. The point is to make it clear to others what I have learned in my short life: some people are just bad and not worth perusing.
First of all, you may be a wonderful and delightful person. I don’t doubt that you are. In spite of this, not everyone will desire your friendship (or desire you sexually). Do not go after these people with texts and pleas. Do not invite yourself into their presence. Sometimes you need to accept that others may not want you around and if they don’t it is not your fault. Even if it is because of your personality, that is still not your fault. Not everyone is meant to be loved by the world. Do not struggle to please those who clearly have no interest in you. And should they suddenly change their mind, have a trace of skepticism. Do not allow those into your life who previously gave you no thought, at least not without hesitancy.
Do not allow others to validate your existence. Do not hang around a girl who is unwilling to be seen in pictures with you but tells you how “obsessed” with you she is when nobody is looking. Do not sleep with the guy (or girl) who won’t text you back, but expects you to head home with him regardless. Do not kiss the person who says they love you but doesn’t want to be officially together. Do not cater to the friends who clearly only contacts you when they need something. These are people who make you feel special with their attention, because they give it so sparingly. Try your best not to fall for it. Realize that people who care about you will make that evident and not randomly show affection for you from time to time.
Don’t let yourself get wrapped up in the unanswered texts, ignored calls, unreturned letters, and untagged photos. Let the “un” everything slip away and remind yourself that your worth is not determined by who gives you attention. Your worth as a person is inherent and existing regardless of who spends time on you. We are all better than the mediocre contact we allow ourselves to receive. The person you met at the bar who doesn’t text you despite the exchange of phone numbers does not know you well enough to have the right to make you feel anything. It is not a personal offense. In life, there are few people who actually hold meaning for any of us. Most of the people you meet will enter your life at one point and leave during another. The important thing is to remember that sometimes you are going to be brushed aside or blown off and you have to accept that some people are just… bad and letting them influence how you feel about yourself is unfair to your well-being.
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The world is a scary, scary place.
11. They are allowed to do whatever they please on their birthday, and you are a Debra (which is worse than a simple Debbie Downer) if you say otherwise.
Joie, 56: The first time the pretty boys called me ma’am. Amelia, 54: When my first child was born, followed closely by the second.
Relationships don’t fill a void or affix an emotional band-aid on your pain. Relationships aren’t the missing piece to your fulfillment.