November 30, 2016

This Is My Goodbye To You

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Mika Martin
Mika Martin

I remember us skiing down slopes of snow and cuddling close together near the crackling fire. The fire was bright like our love and the wood burned for so long, but all good things come to an end. The fire slowly faded and all that was left was a small flame trying to hold on.

I look back in my mind and see us laughing and rolling around on the floor of my apartment. I still feel that way I did when I looked into your smiling eyes every now and then. Your green eyes pierce the depths of my soul every time I close my own.

I still feel an empty place on my finger where the ring you gave me used to sit so perfectly. It took me a long time to take it off because I didn’t want it all to be true.

My heart wasn’t ready to let you go.

I can’t figure out if it’s you I miss or if it’s the memories I keep thinking of. Summer nights at the beach walking hand in hand and soaking up every breath of you. Those were the days I knew you were the one for me.

Now I wake up each morning wondering why it all was taken away from us. I am broken and alone, and it cuts me like a knife to see you or hear your voice.

I think of you the most on rainy days or when the cool breeze hits my face.

My thoughts never take me to the times we fought for hours or all the tears I lost over you. I don’t ponder the times I felt worthless to you and not good enough. I only think of the good times and it’s like my heart is being split in half.

What about our plans? Was it ever meant to be? Do you think of me when you see the sunset or hear a familiar song on the radio?

Sometimes I wonder if I ever meant anything to you at all. Those last few months had me blinded and angry. Angry because you were never around and angry because I left it happen.

Now you say it’s over and we shouldn’t try again. But I still see you in every place I go. I still feel your warm embrace. I still long to be in your arms and feel the way I did when we were happy.

The saddest part of it all is I know you’re right. I know our journey is over.

I just want to say I hope you find someone that will love you more than I ever could. I hope you wake up each morning to the sunrise and thank God that we didn’t last because you never would have found her. All I want is your happiness, and when I cross your mind I hope you smile and think of the years we grew together and taught each other how to love. TC mark

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