Thought Catalog
December 9, 2014

Why “Feminism” Today Disgusts Me

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What is the issue?
auremar / (Shutterstock.com)
auremar / (Shutterstock.com)

Before all the hate comes gushing in, I would like to declare myself a feminist. What? Doesn’t the title of this article already state that I abhor feminism? Am I not one of the “slut-shaming” perverts ruled by my uncontrollable sexual urges that stem from me being male? No, I am simply against what the majority of ”feminists” call feminism and would like to say that feminism—correctly defined and fought for—is a beautiful ideal.

I am a feminist.

I believe that no woman should have to worry about getting raped on the lone walk home at any hour of the night. But I do not live in the clouds and call down lightning on all who frustrate me. The fact is that there are sexual predators around. As much as a woman deserves not to get raped, she has a responsibility (to herself) to keep herself as safe as possible by dressing appropriately. Feminists claim they should not have to worry about such things; that they should be able to walk around at 3 in the morning with barely anything to cover their bodies. That’s like telling a boy crossing the road that he shouldn’t worry about the color of the lights before he decides to cross, and that it’s the CARS’ duty to watch out for them. I doubt any sane parent would advise their child as such. Rational people take precautions against risks instead of screaming at the world for being unfair. I am not demanding every lady wrap herself in layers upon layers of cloth to prevent sexually overactive males from getting tempted, I am simply asking her to be careful and acknowledge the reality of our perverse and dangerous world—for nobody’s sake but her own.

I am a feminist.

I believe in equal rights for women, but I do not believe in complete equality between man and woman. Gender is a godsend (or an evolution-send—whatever you believe in). Scientifically speaking, there is simply never going to be equality between a man and a woman. The way we think, behave, and even our genetic makeup is inherently different. While this should never hinder a woman from, say, having a successful career or attaining a top-grade education, feminists simply have no grounds to claim that men and women are indistinguishable and should be treated as full equals. Without going too deep into it, anyone can realize that there would be no reason for the distinction between the two sexes if that were the case. What of gender roles? “Feminists” cry foul at people who attempt to “impose” gender roles and stereotypes on young girls, saying they should be given the freedom to decide if they want to be “girly” or as masculine as they want. Often, this shaming even extends to their mothers. I find it scary that I live in a time where parents cannot buy a “cooking set” or Barbie doll toy for their daughters without a horde of feminists catching the scent of their unforgivable crime against the female gender from a thousand miles away. Definitely, if a girl is uncomfortable with assuming the typical gender role, any reasonable parent would not “force” her to be girly. But this whole “what if she doesn’t want to be girly” issue has been blown way out of proportion by “feminists.” Leave the parenting to the parents. If the girl doesn’t like it, I’m sure parents will cater to their individual child’s needs. No need for you “feminists” to be the Parenting Police.

I am a feminist.

I believe many women in the world still live in oppression and I believe that it is something that needs to be solved. But more than simply being a feminist, I am someone who believes in equality and progression in the rights of all—male and female, regardless of race, language, or religion. Feminism was a beautiful ideal tainted by a group of butthurt people screaming at the world for being unfair. Feminism was meant to give women the space to express opinions, make decisions, and receive fair treatment in all aspects of life. It was not meant to be an avenue for hate-speech against men or exalting women to a godlike status whereby anyone who has anything bad to say about a member of the female gender is automatically condemned to an eternal doom. There are black sheep in any flock, and the same applies to both genders. As there are sexual predators among males who are a disgrace to us all, there are women who simply do not respect themselves enough to dress appropriately or to take precautions against such men. And while society should seek to weed out such men, self-proclaimed feminists need to realize that their undying hatred of all things male has been misplaced. Some soul-searching might yield this simple but profound truth; feminism should be the fight for equal rights for male and female, not the fight against all things male.

To all the haters who will not share my opinion and will most certainly curse me and my descendants that follow (unless they are women), I say to each their own. Practice what you preach and at least let me and my fellow feminists state our opinion. We are feminists who hate “feminism” as it is today. Give us back our word—“feminism”—and go coin your own word to describe your hatemongering, man-hating, and utterly regressive ideals. TC mark

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