What It’s Like To Let Him In

There will come a time when you finally open up to him about everything painful and difficult and life-changing that’s ever happened to you in your past. There will come a time when the demons will resurface and everything you’ve been bottling up inside of you for so long will come spilling out, like when you pour honey from a jar – slow to start, then like a constant running stream, flooding out of you so fast that you can barely manage to contain it.

He will lie there, next to you, staring fixatedly into your eyes as he listens patiently to all of your stories and memories and confessions until you are done. And even when you finally pull the honey jar away and return it to its upright position, there will always be some extra that tends to escape down the sides, just like the words that keep on flowing out of you, uncontrollably, because he’s made it so easy to share your life story with him.

When you finish, he will look at you, speechless, but never in a different light. Because no matter what you’ve shared with him, it will never change a thing. No matter how broken or ugly or messed up you think you are, he will spend every precious second, from that moment on, making sure you understand that you are beautiful and loved and perfect. He will wipe your tears away; and all of your walls and masks will finally come crashing down.

For you, this moment is everything. And for him, this moment is everything. This is the moment you truly realize how capable you are of letting someone in. And this is the moment he truly realizes how much he loves you – all of you. Not despite all of the faults and flaws and imperfections you see in yourself, but because of them. He loves you because of all of the things you’ve seen and encountered and overcome; all of the mistakes you’ve made, chances you’ve taken and experiences you’ve had. Because, if it weren’t for the stories of your past, chances are, you wouldn’t be the person you are in the present.

Then, he will drag you out of bed and walk you to your mirror, wrapping his strong arms around you in a tight hug as you both gaze at your reflection. He will tell you to look at yourself – really look at yourself – and he will whisper all of the things he loves about you in your ear. He will repeat them over and over and over again until you start to believe him. You may not see what he sees just yet, but he will keep trying. He will always keep trying.

And in this moment, both of your hearts are wide open and raw. Like a live wire – pulsating and electric. There is a current flowing through your veins that was never there before. It surges through every morsel of your being until you’re charged with an energy you didn’t even think existed. You’re not sure what this new feeling is, but it washes over you and soothes you like no other.

This is what it’s like to let him in. This is the beauty of finally opening that door to the little home you’ve created for yourself within your scuffed up heart and letting him see all of the room you have inside. This is what it’s like to no longer have to face the world on your own. It’s the most vulnerable feeling in the world.

And the second your lips touch, sparks fly.