10 Ways To Begin To Get Over Them…Like Now
By Lara Parker
So…you broke up. Or they don’t know you exist. Or they suddenly changed their relationship status on Facebook even though you’ve been texting EVERY DAY.
Either way, something happened and you find yourself left alone asking why. You need to find a way to move on.
The bad news? You can’t get over someone in a day.
The good news? These 10 things will make it less painful and easier for you.
1. Delete their number.
Just delete it from your phone. Don’t give me that stuff about how you might need to contact them. We live in the digital age. If there ever comes a time that you DESPERATELY need to contact them for something- you’ll find a way. In the meantime, you don’t want the temptation to text them. The less interaction you have with them the easier it is to go about your life. Delete that number and never look back. Cold turkey, baby.
2. Get rid of them on social networks.
I think some people might disagree with me because this could appear “childish” or give them a reason to contact you to ask why you’re suddenly not on their friends list anymore. But look at it this way; do you really want to be updated every time they’re tagged in a picture at some party NOT LOOKING HEARTBROKEN? No, you don’t. At the very least, hide them from your newsfeed. But I would go ahead and suggest getting rid of them completely. No need for the temptation to stalk every single comment and picture or mentions they have on twitter. It will only hurt more when you overanalyze the comment from that girl in their Biology class for 2 hours.
3. Get rid of the obvious reminders in your living space.
I’m talking pictures, stuffed animals, old sweatshirts, and cards. Sure, that stuff might be sentimental and mean something to you…but it isn’t going to help you move on. Every time you look at those things you will be reminded of the person you care about and then instantaneously be reminded that they are no longer a part of your life. Don’t inflict pain upon yourself. Get rid of the stuff and replace them with inspirational quotes from Dumbledore or Kelly Cutrone or Steve Jobs or something. Whatever. The point is- get rid of the tear generators.
4. Avoid romantic shows/movies/books for a while.
I’m not saying you won’t ever be able to watch “The Notebook” again without feeling as if your heart is ripping at the seams. I’m just saying that in the aftermath of a breakup the last thing you need to do is torture yourself by putting yourself through a 2-hour reminder of the relationship that you no longer have. Also, it will most likely give you false hope. I will never stop believing in love and romance…but breakups happen…and watching a rom-com can lead you to believe that your lost love will come running back to you. Life doesn’t work like that.
5. Remind yourself of the bad times.
Our minds like to torture us. They like to make us remember every single we laugh we shared with that person. They force us to remember the defining moments…the moments when we truly fell for them. These memories somehow overshadow all the times they made us feel like shit. They overshadow the nights we spent waiting for their phone call or the days wasted exhausting yourself to show them that you care. In the aftermath of a break-up…think about those times. Think about every single time they pissed you off. Think about the things you didn’t like about that person. Think about the time they insulted your best friend. Think of those times if you must think of them at all. Don’t allow your mind to manipulate you into believing that the relationship was perfect. No relationship is perfect. Remember the flaws.
6. Listen to the right kind of music.
Look, we all know that Alanis Morissette is one angry bitch. But at the time, someone had hurt her. Guess what? Someone just hurt you, too. It helps to know that you aren’t alone. It helps to feel angry. My suggestions?
- Ridin Solo – Jason Derulo
- You Oughta Know — Alanis Morissette
- So What – P!nk
- Since You’ve Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson
- Get Gone – Fiona Apple
These are just my suggestions. If you want more…Google it. You’ll be amazed.
7. Surround yourself with friends.
When you’re alone with too much time to think you will go over every detail of your relationship and try to figure out what went wrong. Don’t let this happen. Reconnect with your friends and family. Spend lots of time with them and distract yourself.
8. Watch or listen to stand up comedy.
Even though it might feel like the world has stopped- it hasn’t. Allow yourself to laugh at some comedy and remember that life keeps going and that you will feel completely happy again someday.
9. Allow yourself a really deep heartbroken cry.
Just let it out. Wallow in self pity for an entire night if you need to. Allow yourself to mourn the loss of the relationship…then remember that deserve better and move on.
10. And finally – FLIRT.
I’m not suggesting that you go out on the town and jump into bed with the first person that returns your smile. But I AM saying that you should get dressed up, hit up the club scene, and flirt with people. If nothing else- it will remind you that you ARE lovable.
And remember- you’re a beautiful person in a unique and fantastic way and no one- not even your ex- can ever take that away from you.
It’s the end of the year so you know what that means: it’s time for end-of-the-year album “Best Ofs”!
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