He’s really good looking
Let’s get the obvious out of the way: if he’s hot there’s a 99% chance he’s a player straight out. While there are many beautiful, nice women who want relationships, good looking men are such a rarity that they enjoy a stratospheric quality of life with women throwing themselves at them 24/7. And why buy the cow when you get free milk delivered to your doorstep each morning?
He’s charming and confident
Although looks can certainly pave the way, a man does not need good looks to be swimming in women. A confident, charming personality can be just as much of an aphrodisiac. Also, this confidence could be a side-effect of experiencing a great deal of success with the opposite sex.
He’s flirtatious with you… but not only with you
As flattering as it is to receive attention from an attractive man, be wary. Watch how he acts around other women; if it’s the same he may be flirting with you because you have a vagina, rather than any genuine attraction to you.
He’s sketchy about past conquests
See the above example. If a man is getting defensive, he has something to hide.
He’s “on a break” with his girlfriend, or in an “open relationship”
This is bullshit. He’s cheating.
He tells you (directly or indirectly)
Telling you directly will look something like this:
“I don’t want a relationship”
“I was with one of my fuck buddies last night…”
“I’m a player”
Telling you indirectly will look something like this:
“Some people from my school… they’ve been with their girlfriends since they were 16 or so… I just think “What’s the point?””
“I mean… I’m 21…”
“This girl I’m seeing now… if it happens it happens, if it doesn’t it doesn’t… it’s no big deal.”
Take men as they are. Don’t try and rationalize.
He pursues you with no nerves whatsoever
Making moves (approaching, asking someone out, initiating a kiss/ sex) takes balls. A guy who genuinely likes you will be a little nervous, even if he’s usually outgoing. If he’s not, it’s because he’s had a lot of experience doing this, and/ or doesn’t really give a shit.
He’s ambivalent about women
When asked about women, even women he’s kissed/ slept with/ is seeing, the player is always ambivalent. He’ll say things like: “She’s OK”, “I’m not really sure”, or “Let’s just see how it goes”. The highest praise a woman can get is “She’s hot.” You won’t hear him say: “I actually really like [insert girl’s name]”. The only person the player loves is himself.
He goes for sex straight away
If he invites you back to his apartment to “watch a film” on the first meeting/ date, that’s usually all he’s after. Bonus points if you go and the place is spotless and there’s a stash of condoms conveniently located by his bed.
He has a “stalker” or a “psycho” ex-girlfriend
“Stalker”= he’s cheating on her with you, or is cheating on you with her. “Psycho”= he cheated/ disappeared/ did some other dickish guy thing and she reacted with justified anger.
He forgets details about your life
Everyone has their ditzy moments sometimes but if you’re seeing each other regularly and he can’t remember what you do for a living, or repeats the same stories because he can’t remember what he’s told you, chances are you’re not the only woman in his life.
Previous girlfriends/ flings absolutely hate him
If a girl he’s been with before hates him, particularly if her friends hate him too, it’s usually because he was a dick. Of course guys can change, but treat this as a red flag.
When you stay over, he says “I normally sleep on this side of the bed”
Of course, I know most of you will go ahead and sleep with him anyway, but thanks to this list you can now make an informed decision. You’re welcome in advance.