I’m Sorry, I Cannot Love You Again

We met when we were really young.  We fell in love with each other, but it was our secret, even from one another.  It wasn’t until two years later when I moved out of the country, that you finally confessed.

We lost touch, but once a year we would say hello.  You were always the boy I compare all my relationships with.  No one could amount to you, or to the way you made me feel.  Everyone knew you were my first love.

After many failed relationships, eventually we ended up together.  We didn’t let this moment pass us by that after 3 months of just talking on the phone, we decided to get married.  I flew back home and saw you once again after 11 years, and we got married.  You left your home town to start your life with me.  We were so happy, so in love, so in sync.

You did everything for me, and in return, I gave you everything.  We were soulmates, perfect for one another, my weakness was your strength and yours was mine.  There was nothing I would have changed in this marriage.  It was truly a bliss.

But you got tired of it, you got tired of all of it.  You got tired of doing things for me, you got tired of loving me.  You got tired of my smile, my voice, my laughter, my touch, my love, you got tired of me. 

It came without a warning.  You kept everything to yourself, until you couldn’t take it anymore.  You were unfair with how you ended things.  You woke up one day and decided to tell me that you’re done.  I couldn’t do anything to hold you back, all you kept saying was that it was too late.  Too late???  Really???  Too late to fight for our love?  Too late to fight for how we feel?  I can see how little I meant to you.

You broke me.  You broke me in million pieces.  You made me believe we were destined to be together, you made me believe we were soulmates.  Almost seven years of marriage, and you left me.

Without a warning, without a fight, you left me.  And now you want to be friends?  While I still carry your last name, you just want to be friends. 

I love you so much, but I need to control myself now.  I love you so much, but I can’t talk to you for now.  I love you so much, just the sound of your voice hurts me.  Now you start coming around, now you show you care.  I love you so much, but I cannot love you again.  It would only hurt me if I do.  I love you, but I just cannot, I cannot love you again.