I am a self proclaimed emotional woman. I consistently use the line/excuse “I write incredibly vulnerable articles for the internet” anytime I tend to overshare. I own a shirt that has “all the feels” printed in bold lettering, in case anyone was to doubt that I am a very open person in regards to my emotions. Feelings have always fascinated me, and I spend a great deal of time trying to figure them out, going along with them for the ride, and discussing them in great detail to gain a clearer perspective.
So it comes as no surprise then that when it comes to my love life, feelings have always played a key role in my decisions. I have chased down bad boys and emotionally unavailable people simply based on the amount of sparks I felt when they walked in a room. I have stayed with people who I should’ve let go of simply because when they kissed me they could make things feel okay for awhile. I have fallen for people with whom a relationship was doomed from the start because my emotions were in the front seat and hit the gas pedal before I could think twice- or honestly, think at all. My logical side has tried to come into play and probably could’ve saved me from more than one bad decision if I had stopped trying to shove it in a corner closet of my mind- a place where I could hear my reasonable side banging against the door, but refusing to let it ruin my “fun.” The more logical side of my mind has always pointed out the obvious or the most reasonable explanation on trying to find someone compatible, and it has just felt boring- not the kind of passion or emotions you read about in love stories. I have always rolled my eyes at logic and sped through it like a terms and conditions agreement- claiming that I knew what I was getting myself into despite that all I really cared about is how someone made me feel.
But you? You’ve got me doing the thing no one else has ever inspired me to do- to let my logical side in on this decision. And it kind of scares me to death, if I’m honest.
Because let me tell you, my feelings are in as full swing as they always have been. I feel like we have solid chemistry, at least from my perspective. You’ve got my heart beating a little too fast when I’m sitting next to you and I think about kissing you more times in a day than someone probably should. You’ve got me feeling on top of the world, boy, and you don’t even realize it. You have always been more lost inside your own mind- prone to overthinking and looking at the more realistic possibilities. You tend to think more than you feel, a concept that I find completely foreign. Yet you’ve managed to rub off some of this thinking and analyzing stuff on me, and I didn’t even see it coming.
Because my emotions aren’t driving 120 mph down the highway like I’m used to- somehow logic managed to escape from the trunk and called shotgun this time around. And to my surprise, it actually isn’t turning into a train wreck. Nor is the drive a boring one. In fact, it’s the more exciting than I anticipated, and we aren’t even sure where this thing is going just yet.
You’ve got me truly thinking about compatibility and what I honestly want in a relationship, rather than chasing the emotions behind it.
I’m spending more time than I’d want to admit at night analyzing whether or not this might be something we should try out. And so far, even my logistical side is agreeing that you and I have a really solid chance at creating something incredible if we honestly both want to.
The fact that because you are bringing out this side of me that I have always preferred to repress honestly has me thinking that just maybe you could push me to be a better version of myself- because you’re already doing that now. It’s got me thinking that everything about what we’ve already built is solid and based on honesty and trust, and how that could hold just about anything we decided to add onto it.
My emotions are losing their mind at the sight of you, and my logical side is actually giving the green light.
I think I want to keep you around, for as long as you’re willing to stay. Because if my feelings and my logical side are both agreeing on you, I think that has to say something, right?
Because if it were up to me, boy, I’d have to say that us giving this thing a real chance is only logical.