September 20, 2016

This Is The Brutal Truth About Being The Girl Who Loves More

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When you’re the girl who loves more, you view everything a little bit brighter.

You really don’t recognize it. To you, the world is always this bright, there are always this many colors, there is always another day to come. When you meet people who view the world in shades of gray, you don’t back away from them, but instead try to use your own love to add color to theirs. You try to give them your rose-colored glasses, give them a chance to see just how beautiful this world can be. Sometimes they do, and you both hold onto this magical love that seems to paint every dull sky iridescent hues that will never fade. Yet once darkness comes -like it always does- the shades come off, are set aside on a table, and they see the storm clouds rolling in. They want to walk away before the rain starts falling, before the thunder starts crashing, before it all comes apart.

When you’re the girl who loves more, you’re still pointing out the silver linings.

Despite every negative thing the person may have, you can find three other good things to somehow balance it out. Despite the people who come in like hurricanes and tornadoes, tearing apart everything in their path, you’re still standing immobile; you know if you can just get to the eye of the storm you can find the good. You see all the cracks in these people, you see the fault lines that break apart hearts and potential, but you aren’t shaken by their earthquake personalities. You are willing to wait, even if it kills you. You stay even if it kills you.

When you’re the girl who loves more, you make promises for the both of you.

You promise you’ll stick around through the hard times. You promise yourself that if you just try a little harder, they will recognize the wonderful things in you. You promise them that you both can make it through anything. You promise yourself that you can handle anything life throws at you. You believe these things because yes, you are going to see things through and you will try to keep yourself from breaking; life doesn’t spare us just because we believe good things should happen. You can always see a better tomorrow, if you both can just get there. You keep making promises in hopes that tomorrow will get here.

When you’re the girl who loves more, things hit you a little harder.

Because you’ve learned that love doesn’t always fix everything. It’s hard for you to believe, because love is one of the best things this world has to offer. Yet it doesn’t always mend the broken pieces and doesn’t always seal two people together. People walk away, people cause pain, and you manage to break you own heart because instead of letting go, you keep holding on. So when they finally are gone, truly gone, you don’t always understand what went wrong. You’re convinced you just didn’t try hard enough, didn’t love them enough, didn’t fight hard enough to keep them here. You didn’t allow your terrible moments to knock you to the ground when you were together, but now that they are gone? Things hit you twice as much. The reality of the situation and the disappointment that you couldn’t do anything about it will knock the breath right out of you.

When you’re the girl who loves more, you take longer to move on.

Because you’re still scanning your brain for ways you could’ve fixed it all. You’re still remembering all the good memories you hold of him and conveniently are avoiding the bad times. You still pine over him long after he’s moved on because to you, he was worth so much. He was worth it all, if you’re honest. You spent so long holding onto him that even now, letting him go just feels wrong. It feels like everything you did was for nothing. You will hold onto him until you’re certain there is no other option besides it, because this is who you are. You love until it hurts, and if you could love something back to life, darling you would.

But when you’re the girl who loves more, you experience love in a way no one else does.

Sometimes it’s painful, and it hurts like nothing else. But eventually, you start to understand that being the girl who loves more isn’t a bad thing. Your heart holds an insane amount of capacity for love. You can see the good in things when times are rough. You always believe that tomorrow is a new start, a potentially better day. You look at a person not as perfect, but as human- someone who may have faults and bad habits, but someone who is also wonderful and has incredible qualities as well.

And to be honest darling, when a real and honest love comes around, that’s when the girl who loves more becomes the right person for the job.

In fact, you stop being the girl who loves more, because the other person loves you just as much. Because in an honest and real relationship, both people are imperfect, but want to make it to another day. They fight, they make mistakes, but they want to fix things. They don’t run at the first sign of trouble, and they don’t look at leaving as the obvious solution if there is a chance they can stay.

Because when you’re the girl who loves more, it actually is the right amount of love for the right person. TC mark

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