5 Facts You Should Know Before You Hit On Your Professor

Have you ever had a professor who you couldn’t stop thinking about? That you enjoyed to see when you showed up to class? He had something edgy, like a forearm tattoo… or perfected the “I don’t care” attitude while remaining disturbingly brilliant. Did you ever notice they wear the same clothes all the time? And it’s STILL hot. You find yourself not taking any excused absence days…even if you are disgustingly sick. You paid attention, even though you struggled translating his extensive vocabulary… he’s speaking English right? But wait… you might have even put your laptop away when he was talking.

You are not alone. I remember first getting crushes on my teachers when I was very young. In a naive curiosity, I tried embark on some research.

Google witnessed my questions such as, “is he flirting with me?”…“how do I know if my teacher likes me?”… “can I make moves on my teacher?”…

Google failed me. Not many people want to talk about this. Professors and students maintain a platonic relationship, juxtaposing the rampant hook-up culture taking place a few blocks down at the fraternity houses. There’s only a few movies (that are not pornographic) that explore this concept. When it does, it’s usually about a young female becoming emotionally destroyed by her creepy and psychotic teacher. It’s something that is shunned upon, illegal at most universities, and scary, but it still happens. When a student finds themselves curious, there’s not much to do. You clearly don’t want to ask a fellow student, because that will put the entire plan under the bus.

So, for those curious ladies out there interested in their male teachers… I wanted to offer some advice on the matter.

1. Do not think go to his office hours immediately to pull something kinky in the office.

Not only will it freak him out, but you could potentially get reported. This is a slow process, don’t rush it.

2. Establish the lonely card.

Even if it means not sitting next to your friends in lecture. If it looks like you don’t have friends in the class, you seem more trustworthy and less-likely to chat about things if something goes down. Do tell someone you trust if something happens, it’s always good to have the support just in case.

3. Don’t act confused about the material in order to get his attention.

Read the work, and contribute thoughtful insight.

4. Embrace your power.

Many people are disgusted by the professor-student affair because of “power dynamics.” It’s not the case if you are trying to let him know who is boss. Give him the look, and he’s pretty much at your feet.

5. Don’t make the mistake that he is the love of your life.

This could be the case in rare situations, but if you are like me, it’s something that is just fun. When that point is established, there’s no pressure. You don’t do it for the grade (since you have a good one from working hard), but you do it for the thrills and the excitement.