I would rather be the girl who feels too much and who cares, than to not care at all.
I used to hate having such a big heart. I feel too deeply, think to deeply, and am affected by everything around me. I’m sensitive to the core. There’s also a part of me that’s hard. I’ve been inflicted by so much pain, and sometimes I get to a point of indifference.
But through the years, I’ve learned that having a big heart isn’t a bad thing. Feeling more pain and empathy then others makes me different, and it makes me who I am. Sometimes I need to take a step back, and reflect. Not everyone has the same heart as you. Even as a kid, I remember being deeply introspective. When I see someone hurt, it shakes me to the core.
But sometimes I wonder, why do I have to feel all this, while most others don’t? When someone I love dies, I shut down. I don’t cry. It impacts me in a million ways. When I go through heartbreak, I beat myself up. When friends distance themselves from me, I wonder what I did to cause it. And if you hurt my feelings, I’ll probably ignore it, but deep down it drives me crazy. See, I’m strong, stronger then most, but I’m also deeply sensitive. And most people don’t realize it.
Having a big heart and feeling is my greatest strength and biggest weakness. I will never NOT have an opinion. I will never be someone to shut my mouth. You can count on me to voice my opinion. If something isn’t right, I will let you know. Life has taught me to be myself, and embrace who I am. That person loves deeply, feels everything, and sometimes it makes life difficult. I might be too much for some, and that’s okay. I will never apologize for who I am. My friends that know me, love me. Having a big heart makes me who I am, and I’m learning to embrace it.