Thought Catalog
February 21, 2017

She Is A Modern Woman With An Old Soul – She Is Not Supposed To Make Sense

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@pop.roxana

She is the woman that passes you on the street. Her energy radiates. You cannot help but wonder what her name is. She locks eyes with you so intensely you feel like you knew her your entire life, but she does not even notice you are there. She is off in her own dream world.

She is strong, independent, and fiercely passionate.

She carries herself in a confident, assertive, and almost aggressive manner. She knows what she wants and works hard to obtain it. She has avenues to follow and goals to reach. She chases dreams like a cheetah on the hunt for a gazelle.

She is a rebel, a misfit, a freak of nature, an outsider.

She pushes her limits and shakes up the status quo – willing to rip the envelope open if she has to. No one can box her in. She will never conform to be a part of a clique that does not match her values. She will always follow her intuition.

She is free.

She will disappear from time to time. She will move across the country on a whim. Home is wherever she wants it to be, because true security can only be found within herself. The moment she feels suffocated, she is out the door. She does as she pleases. She becomes extremely moody and depressed when restricted. She does not want anyone to fix her or hold her down.

You are either on her side, by her side, or in her way.

She has her own unique sense of style.

Truth be told, her fashion sense is pretty whack and makes zero sense to anyone but herself. She probably wears all black or does not match at all. She is eccentric and no one understands how she manages to pull off patterned leggings, a cutoff T-shirt, no bra, with a vintage faux fur coat. Her hair falls below her breasts – wavy, frazzled, a beach-blonde mess. A gold shark tooth necklace dangles from her skinny neck. Her boots are falling apart. She has other options, but the feel of wear and tear gives her a sense of purpose and security.

She endures in times of hardship.

She takes pain and fuels it to her creative advantage. She knows in order to achieve her greatest expression she must embrace her demons. That is the only true way to grow as a human being. She would rather struggle than be stagnant.

She is music.

She dances through life with headphones around her neck. She doesn’t just listen; she truly feels the music. Her limbs move to the beat. She is oblivious to bystanders watching her odd, yet sexy, behavior. She has not listened to the radio since she was a teenager. She is friends with musicians in the scene. She has been to more festivals than she can count on two hands. She has her own equipment for the sake of challenge and desires to make magic happen herself.

She is tactful and truthful.

She speaks articulately and writes thoughtfully. She says what is on her mind and kindly dismisses anyone that does not favor her authenticity. She is sharp, with a witty tongue that tends to get her in trouble. She has no issue with burning a bridge and watching it go up in flames if it means staying true to herself.

She will always choose her own path over what society expects of her.

She is not concerned with the monogamous notion of marriage, and the thought of bearing children makes her insides turn. These options are irrelevant at this stage in her life. She never was the type of girl to picture herself in a wedding dress or to wonder what her kids would look like. She is too busy indulging in a plethora of her passions to even fathom or relate to that type of lifestyle.

She supports all walks of life.

She is an egalitarian. She hears people out, but does not get too caught up in opinion or political disposition. She understands that the human ego can be blinding, accepts that life is always changing, evolving, and moving forward, and hopes all humans embrace this notion. Everyone has their own opinion of the American dream. Be whoever you want to be. Live and let live.

She aspires to inspire.

She is a leader with a charm that can influence a crowd. She has an inner confidence that lures you in, captivates, makes you question who you are. She talks about her future plans and how she lights and ignites her own path.

She believes in sexual freedom.

She believes in making love to whoever she wants, even if it is herself. The human body is one of the most naturally beautiful things on Earth. Why is it looked down upon to expose skin? Who is to say who you can and cannot be intimate with? Love who you want. Make your wildest fantasies come true. Indulge in what makes you feel alive.

She is a modern woman.

Yet, she always feels others’ glares on her back – almost as if they are questioning why she is so on top of shit – yet out of sync.

She has a secret, private life.

She spends her evenings mostly alone, dazed by the complexity of her own character, drenching her heart and thoughts in Cabernet, playing the type of music you only hear in hipster cafes in the city.

She prefers solitude.

The life of the party is actually an introverted recluse. She knows the difference between being alone and being lonely. The latter is a feeling she has yet to experience. If she invites you into her world, she plans on keeping you. Consider yourself lucky. She is completely content with her own company, so if she wants yours know it is truly genuine.

She feels misunderstood.

Despite her fearless attitude, she is consumed with self- doubt and insecurities come sundown. She is strange, quiet, yet exhilarating because her mind is a bizarre place. She spends a lot of time studying her own patterns of behavior and wants you to understand her. She speaks of her achievements because she went through complete darkness to get there. Finding people that want to listen to understand is nearly impossible. Yet, she continues to approach the world with an open mind and heart.

She has little time and interest for short-lived experiences, people, or conversation.

Small talk is her worst nightmare. She does not bother with anyone or anything that cannot breed long-lasting fulfillment. One good friend beats five inauthentic acquaintances. She would rather know what you love and what makes you tick than what you had for breakfast. She would feed you before she fed herself.
Quality over quantity, always.

She is perplexing.

She is unable to relate to the majority of what her girlfriends her age consider fun. She doesn’t understand the fuss over the latest paparazzi craze. She could care less about reality T.V. shows and petty dramatics. She signed up for dating apps out of sheer curiosity, got anxiety, and never went back.

She has an acute awareness and mature strength that keeps her grounded – despite her free nature.

She’s quiet. She feels weird, always on edge, because she can be extremely telepathic. She connects with people much older than her. She does not believe in coincidences. She is wise beyond her years and quite dazed and confused by her own knowledge and truth.

She is most likely an empath.

Her heart breaks every day for other people. Her hardships exist because she takes on the pain and weight of the world- not because she wallows within hers. She feels happy and sad at the same time – all of the time. She feels deeply and experiences a wide breadth of emotions simultaneously. She can be laughing, yet feel melancholic sadness for the old man across the street walking alone. She feels other’s energy, anxiety, and tribulations simply by being in the same room. She has deep feelings hidden below her surface at all times.

She is probably an introvert.

She loses energy by human contact. It is essential to her well-being to have moments alone, even if your company gives her pleasure. The harshness and cruelty of the world can completely drain her to the point of not leaving bed for two days. She goes to bars alone to read. She ends up having heart-to-hearts with strangers that make her soul sing. She will weird you out at first, because she sees right through your exterior shell. She wants to know how you got to where you are, how deeply you have loved, what you desire, and the encouragement you need in order to charge forward.

She appreciates the small things.

She has a secret vinyl record collection. She loves walking to the record store and picking through old albums. She prefers the classics. They bring her a sense of nostalgia that satisfies her appetite more than modern day music ever could. She loves the smell of coffee and the way your hair looks when you wake up in the morning.

She is romantic and loyal – despite her sexually free nature.

She will not give herself to just anybody. Only those who mentally stimulate and inspire her are worthy of her body. She will write poems about you and willingly share them – even if it scares you away. She knows she intimidates you with her intensity. She will remember the first time you said hello and what your favorite songs are. She wants to know your darkest secrets – she will keep them too. As a lover, she does not ask for much – just be her companion and confidant. She will believe in you when you do not believe in yourself. Her fantasies beat mundane reality and she will aim to make yours come true. She does not hold a grudge. Love flows in and out of her life as the universe demands.

She is a walking contradiction, a paradox.

She confuses you because she is confused herself. She marches to the beat of her own drum – even though she tends to forget the beat at times. She can be pompous, prude, selfish, skeptical, yet clever, magnetic, big-hearted, sensitive, and charismatic. How could one person have such implausible qualities?

She is a modern woman with an old soul.

She was not brought to Earth to make sense. If you accept her complexity, you will have a lifelong, loyal companion who radiates adventure, sincerity, romanticism, and kookiness everywhere she goes. TC mark

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