I Used To Think Our Love Was Magic

I told them our love was magic. That it was more than anything I’d ever felt before. That part wasn’t a lie.

Our love was so powerful that I know it was once in a lifetime. They wonder how I got so lucky; ask where they can find that kind of love. I say I don’t know.

But I don’t tell them I am relieved it’s over. I don’t tell them I wouldn’t want it back or that I won’t ever go looking for that kind of black magic again. They don’t understand magic always comes with a price.

The person you have the deepest connection with has the power to hurt you like no other. Every minute you have to wait for him to show up feels like an eternity and every time he ignores you cuts like a knife. He will take these things for granted; take you for granted. He will believe you are meant to be with him and think nothing could ever change that.

So the flowers are supposed to make up for him being late again. He texts you “Good morning beautiful” to set you up for another day of silence, which you now are not allowed to be upset about.

The note on your windshield says “I love you” but it also says, “Please forgive me.”

That kind of love takes your breath away by suffocating you. It slowly stifles your identity, your purpose, your drive and your sense of self-worth until there’s nothing left.

I don’t want to lie anymore. The next time someone asks me where to find a love like that I will tell them what we all already know- there is no such thing as magic.