August 15, 2016

I’m Sick Of This Bullshit Dating World Where We All Have To Pretend Like We Don’t Care

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What is the issue?
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Apathy is so “in.” Isn’t it sad that we’ve gotten to a point where we envy people who are less emotional? A point where being distant, detached, and disinterested is so cool now? The celebrities we are all collectively so obsessed with are the blasé ones – the ones unfazed by the glitz and the glamour, think Rihanna. The ones we hate are the ones like Taylor Swift, who try a little too hard and care a little too much. But even the acquaintances we aspire to be are the ones who treat people like whispers in the wind.

Wow, she’s so cool because men are all over her, and she can just wave them away, no strings attached.

Wow, that guy is so desirable because he’s so disinterested in me and can’t give me the time of day.

Let’s really consider where we are as a society right now.

Games. Was there always a game? Maybe without phones there was a game, too. Maybe I’m the naive one, the dumb one, the one that doesn’t know how to play the game. It was my understanding that if you want to talk to someone, you talk to them when you want and how you want. Growing up, I always would watch these grandiose gestures of romance and love and confession, and that was the goal, that was the happy ending, and that’s what distinguished the good characters from the bad. But perhaps I misunderstood. Maybe liking and loving have always been about strategy.

Why do I have to calculate when to send a text? Why do I have to calculate what to say to get some sort of reaction out of the person? If I thought about them, am I not allowed to talk to them? Calling them makes me the crazy one, the clingy one, the uncool one. And the fact that I’m complaining about this makes me even more crazy.

God forbid you go on a date. At this point, dates are completely null and void. The only thing people do now is “hang out.”

Yeah I hung out with her. Yeah I chilled with him. Oh cute! So do you like her? Uh, I don’t know. Do you like him? Uh, yeah, I don’t know, I’m afraid of commitment and have trust issues.

Honestly, stop with the bullshit. I don’t personally let random specimen invade me with their body parts. I don’t usually choose to hold hands with people I hate. And I CERTAINLY don’t sleep next to people I dislike because I don’t get enough sleep as it is, but I clearly like you enough to let you compromise that. Stop fucking lying. You like each other and you can admit it.

What is wrong with liking someone? It feels like elementary school all over again.

“Oooooh Kristen likes him! K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

“NO I DON’T I HATE HIM HE’S UGLY.”

Tell me this doesn’t happen at our age too. “If you like him so much why don’t you marry him?” Absolutely not!! Get serious with somebody because you like them? That’s so dumb, so desperate. Am I right or am I right?

But let’s say you are telling the truth about commitment issues or trust issues. What is so damn hard about committing?

You know why we’re all so “afraid of committing?” It’s because you’re afraid the other person is afraid of committing, and you don’t want to be the only one begging.

We’re human. We hate rejection and we don’t like not being on the same page, and we want love to be reciprocated. It’s mortifying and embarrassing to be rejected. Humans have always needed validation – through writing, through art, through music – some sort of sign that other people feel and think as you do.

But what do you have to lose? Do you have something left to say to somebody? Do you want to tell the person how you feel but you’re afraid he or she won’t respond? Then you’ve done all you can. At the very least, you’ve gotten everything off your chest and now your thoughts don’t have to eat away at you. If they don’t respond, they weren’t worth your time anyway. The other less-than-ideal scenario is that they reject you or they don’t reciprocate your feelings. It will hurt, but now you can move on – clean and easy. Say what you feel. You literally have nothing to lose whatsoever. Life is way too short to wonder.

I’m on my hands and knees, begging for some sort of “caring” renaissance. I want us as a society to care about each other again. More so than that – I know people fucking care – I want people to show that they care. I’m sure humans as a whole got fed up with being hurt, so the natural reaction was to shut down. But I think at this point, we’re all fed up with this robot society. I mean, literal robots are taking the place of humans and there are businesses for cuddling – and I genuinely don’t want that. It’s so sad that we’re at a point where we have to justify “caring.” A point where we’re slaves to technological validation.

So fuck this. Fuck timing. Fuck games. Fuck the patriarchy. Fuck texting. I will do what I want because that’s what I’ve always done.

I’m going to start caring again. For so long I feel like I’ve been trying not to care, to suppress my thoughts and my feelings, to be dishonest. If there’s anything I hate more than this bullshit, it’s liars. And frankly, we’ve all become liars. But hey, if you genuinely, deep in your heart don’t care, you do you, but I don’t want much to do with you, and I certainly will not choose to envy you. I’m going to show I care, and nobody can stop me. TC mark

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