Movies Ruined The Way We Love And How We Feel About Love

If you ask 100 people what they think love is, I can pretty much guess what the results will be. Half will try to give an explanation, and half will say that it cannot be put into words.

The truth is, love doesn’t have a definition. It’s a feeling that you, as an individual, can feel. And what you interpret as love might be very different from what someone else does.

Additionally, your definition of love will grow over time.

Before a year ago? Love was bullshit. Sure, people fell in love. But not me. Never me.

And then it happened to me. Well…at the time, I thought it was happening to me.

You see, in every movie we watch as a kid, in every book we read, in every show we watch, there’s a tendency of the ending to come right when the happiness starts. Girl meets boy. They fall in love. Curtain. And then we’re left to assume that the two of them, together, continue living every moment of the rest of their lives next to each other, never doing anything but smiling and falling further in love, with the emotional whirlwind lasting the whole time.

Real life isn’t like that. Sure, there’s that stage. The stage of infatuation. Where every time you see them, you get butterflies, and every time they breathe, you’re amazed, because how can someone be so perfect?

Enter the real-life curtain. The curtain that separates that phase from the rest of your relationship. The part of the relationship where you stop the constant infatuation and realize you have a life. That point hits at different times for every couple, I think. And there are different wake-up calls.

Personally, for me? It took being broken up with to realize that I was so into the infatuation stage that I had forgotten, or not yet even thought about, what love really is.

And when I realized that? We made the mutual decision to try this again. And it’s been great. Here’s the thing you have to accept – love isn’t a fairy tale like they show in the media. It’s a whole different type of magic.

The butterflies are going to die down, the obsession is going to go away. But won’t stop is the wonder. The want to be around them, and the laughter. The inside jokes. The smiles. The adventures.

Love isn’t about shutting yourself out from the rest of the world to spend all your time with your significant other. It’s about learning to balance life with work with friends with them.

Because isn’t the point of life to find people you want to be around? To find the people who build you up and make you smile? And isn’t it amazing when you find one who can do that more than anyone else? Someone who will make you laugh at all times? Someone who will introduce you to new things you’ve never experiences and to new possibilities, and who will support you in all of your own endeavors?

I feel like once the infatuation stage ends, people throw away beautiful things. Things that they haven’t allowed to grow and blossom yet. Just because they mistake that lack of passion for a lack of overall love.

I don’t think you ever fall out of love. If you think you’ve fallen out of love, I don’t think you were ever in love in the first place – you were just caught up in the romance.

You grow in love. That’s the only way to live your life. Grow as a person, grow in your career,  grow in your friendships. And growth in your relationship will just happen.

It’s about being comfortable, in both your own skin, and with your other half. All you should ever aim to be is yourself, and it’s a whole different kind of wonderful when you find the person who allows and encourages you to thrive.