I’m Going To Start Saying I Don’t Love You Anymore

Toa Heftiba

I’m just going to start lying to myself. I’m going to start saying that I don’t love you anymore.

I’ll stop saying that I miss you every second and every minute of the day that I don’t spend with you.

I’ll delete our old conversations and pretend that I haven’t memorized every single word you said to me.

I’m going to say that I don’t dream of you every night, that you’re not my last thought at night before I sleep and you’re not my first thought in the morning when I wake up.

I’m going to stop wanting to tell you about my day and stop waiting for you to tell me about yours.

I’ll pretend that your phone is broken so I’ll stop checking my phone for a text or a call from you.

I’ll stop talking to my friends about you so they will believe that I’ve finally forgotten about you and they will stop asking.

I’ll put everything about you in a box and bury it deep under the ground in my backyard like the puppy I loved and lost when I was a child.

I’ll stop thinking about what happened or why it happened, and just cherish all the memories I’ve had with you like a wonderful dream.

I’ll start saying I don’t love you anymore, and maybe someday my heart will finally believe it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Addicted to coffee, the smell of books, and the sound of ocean waves.

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