A Survival Guide For Dealing With People You Don’t Like
1. When that person is your boss.
I’m just going to put this out there: I’ve had a boss who I knew didn’t like me. Which was fine, because the feeling was mutual. This is not unusual and I didn’t take it too personally, which is funny because not liking someone is personal, but I had a job to do. Here is the the thing though, if your boss doesn’t like you, chances are, your days are numbered so start looking for another job. If you don’t like your boss but you like the organization that you work for, I’m not one to tell you this very often but you should in fact, FAKE IT. This is your boss. He or she does have some control over whether you move up in the organization and even in your industry. Why? Because the world is indeed a very small place and people talk. Forget about why you don’t like him or her and keep the big picture in mind. Be more reverent, more attentive, and more hard-working simply because you want to get the heck out of being his or her subordinate as soon as possible. But just in case, also start looking elsewhere.
2. When that person is your professor.
At this point in my life, I generally know how to charm professors. After all, I am the child of two academics. Generally, I’ve liked most of the professors I’ve had and for the most part, I’m a good student. Still, you may come across a few professors that you don’t like and as you go up the education ladder, you get closer to your professors. Let me give you some advice: keep it to yourself. And I mean this in every sense of the word. Professors are usually fair people and although you may dislike a certain one, just be a good student – do all your work on time, participate in class when called on or just because, and also don’t go around telling half the university why you don’t like him or her.
3. When that person is in your family.
I must admit I’m not an expert on this one; I actually like everyone in my family. Maybe absence has made the heart fonder. Don’t get me wrong, my nuclear family and I still get into the passionate disagreement every now and then, mostly because we all have the same problem: We all think we’re always right. But we’re family at the end of the day. If you don’t like someone and that person is in your family, realize that they will forever be a part of you and to the rest of the world, you are “cut from the same cloth.” I’m sure there are extreme cases but I agree with Lady Violet Grantham from Downton Abbey on this one, “The family must never be the topic of conversation.” And yes, this includes your current or future in-laws.
4. When that person is your friend or in your social circle.
There’s always one and it’s usually the friend of a friend. He or she never fails to show up when everybody’s invited for a night out or a get-together and he or she gets on your nerves. I’ve always been of the opinion that you don’t have to like someone just because someone you like likes them…and you don’t. But you do have to be civil and not stir the pot. If that person is giving you grief and it must be confronted, pull them aside one-on-one and simply tell it like it is: That you know you’re not each others’ favorite people but as long as both of you have the same friends, civility, and politeness, and peace shall rain. Also, do yourself a favor: Do not gossip with any of your other friends in the circle about them. It will get back to them. If you must vent, call your mother. This also applies to co-workers.
5. When that person has no significance to you/is somebody that you used to know.
This one’s easy. Ignore them. But still remember that you owe them agape, if not for benevolent reasons, well, because loving your enemies, will drive them crazy!
If you’ve been looking for a chance to say something then this very well could be it.
I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
By Ella Ceron
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”