47 Signs You’re From Michigan
1. You show people where you’re from by pointing to a spot on the back of your left hand.
2. You know it’s called pop, not soda.
3. You’ve clapped or witnessed people clapping at the sun setting on Lake Michigan.
4. You know how to pronounce Mackinac, Kalamazoo, Charlevoix, Ypsilanti, and Sault St. Marie.
5. And yes, you know Kalamazoo actually does exist.
6. You’ve frenched a juggalo.
7. You had to wear your Halloween costume over your winter coat at some point during your childhood.
8. You joined other Michiganders in shared confusion and outrage when Wisconsin tried to claim itself as the Mitten state a few years ago. Don’t get it twisted Wisconsin.
9. You’ve gotten into a legit argument about which is better, Rock N Rye or red pop. Obviously Rock N Rye.
10. You’ve received a paid day off of work to celebrate the opening day of deer season.
11. You can easily drive 60 mph through two feet of snow during a blizzard like a boss.
12. Ohio State are the two dirtiest words someone could say to you.
13. You’ve been to Hell or know it’s not too far from you.
14. You know what a Yooper is.
15. You can easily experience at least two seasons in one day, sometimes within a few hours of each other. This usually means wearing shorts and a sweatshirt or winter coat at the same time.
16. You calculate the measure of distance in minutes, not miles.
17. You drive 80 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
18. You’ve been to an Oberon release party.
19. You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to drive a car.
20. You go “up north” every summer, which is anywhere north of Grand Rapids. This usually means driving up I-75 and vacationing in a cabin in the woods or a cottage on the lake.
21. You’ve been on a Michigan fall colors tour or taken a drive through the country in the fall just to see the leaves changing.
22. Some people still side eye you if you say you own a foreign car.
23. You refer to Ann Arbor as A2 and Kalamazoo as Kzoo.
24. You know how to play and pronounce Euchre.
25. You don’t think it’s weird when it’s 75 degrees today and the forecast is predicting three feet of snow for tomorrow.
26. You’ve been to a Friday night fish fry.
27. Someone in your family or a friend’s family have worked for or been laid off by the auto industry.
28. You know it’s perfectly normal to live inside of a thumb.
29. You grew up knowing how to load and shoot a shot gun.
30. You got excited about turning 19 so you could drink in Windsor.
31. Your summer vacations as a kid consisted of either going “up north,” to Cedar Point, or to Mackinac Island.
32. You remember it was a big deal when Olive Garden opened in your town.
33. You go to another state and can’t get used to throwing your pop or beer cans away.
34. School was never called off in the winter unless there was at least two feet of snow but you were still hopeful the night before you might have a snow day.
35. Even if you’re not a big football fan, you hate Ohio regardless.
36. You aren’t sure if any other hockey teams exist except the Red Wings.
37. You think 40 degrees is a perfectly acceptable temperature to put shorts on.
38. You know a pastie is something you eat and not wear.
39. It’s pretty normal for family members to stop speaking after a Michigan-MSU game.
40. Fudge and salt water taffy remind you of summer.
41. When someone says they’re driving coast to coast you know they’re driving from one side of the state to the other.
42. You’ve been to Ted Nugent’s house or hung out with one of his kids.
43. You remember when Biggby Coffee was called Beaners and prefer it to Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts.
44. It’s a family tradition to cheer on the Lions, even though you know they’re going to lose.
45. You drink Vernors when you’re sick.
46. You know the difference between a coney dog and a chilli dog.
47. Superman or Blue Moon ice cream were your favorite ice cream flavors as a child.
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Will it feel the same when you tell me you love me over the phone? Will the peacefulness of those words still floor me from thousands of miles away?
I was conflicted. It felt like one eye was trying to look away while the other soaked it up. I felt the heat rise in my face. This was wrong. But it didn’t feel wrong.
Any nervous flyer knows the progression of descending panic: bile, sweaty palms, social awkwardness and self-induced sedation.
I know how it feels when the weight of darkness crashes down onto your chest in the middle of the night, and how you wish things would stop spinning because the axis seems tilted now. I know, love, I know.