September 18, 2016

Here’s What You’re Like In Bed Based On Your Drink Of Choice

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Adriana Michele
Adriana Michele

Beer

You’re either a super average dude or a girl who tries a little too hard to prove how ~*~chill~*~ she is. If you’re the former, you think there are only four positions, but at least you’ve mastered them. If you’re the latter, despite your bravado, you are very submissive in the bedroom. You’ll talk shit in the bar, but want to be dominated when you get alone with someone.

Red wine

You’re incredibly sensual. Like, you probably listen to Prince all day long in preparation for a date. Sex with you is a meeting of the senses: hearing, sight, touch, smell, taste. You want every part of someone, and for them to have every part of you.

White wine

You fake orgasms. A lot.

Rosé

You think enjoying doggy style somehow makes you kinky. Honey. No. Many people like doggy style.

Mimosa

You’re a huge fan of morning sex. You’re relatively vanilla, but will have the occasional “let’s try some weird shit” night. Sex with you is always enjoyable, even if it’s a little predictable sometimes.

Margarita

You’ve had sex in a bar bathroom before. And frankly, you’d do it again.

Rum and coke

You’re not flashy or overly flirtatious. But you’re a VERY selfless lover. Like, someone should give you an award. Because, damn.

Whiskey neat

You think you’re amazing in bed. You’re just okay.

Vodka

You’ve had (or thought about having) a threesome and ended up not being that into it.

Gin and tonic

You’re so fucking cool. Like, you just are. You’re funny and effervescent, and a ton of fun in the sack.

Manhattan

Who do you think you are, Don Draper? You don’t get laid enough for me to even speculate what you’re like in bed. TC mark

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