Thought Catalog
April 21, 2017

To The Girl Who Doesn’t Know How To Fall Back In Love With Herself

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What is the issue?
God & Man

Hate is taught.

No one is born hating someone else.

So that same thing applies to you and your relationships with yourself.

Somewhere along the way, someone has taught you to hate the person looking back at you in the mirror.

That they don’t deserve love and appreciation and admiration.

Maybe it’s a parent. A sibling. A family member. Someone you look up to. A friend. An ex. The media.

But what can be taught can be untaught. It just takes time.

I want you to think about the parts of yourself you don’t like. Every flaw. Every shortcoming. Every reason you’ve come up with and analyzed in your mind as to why someone doesn’t like you.

Do you have it?

Now let it go. Let go of your insecurities. Let go of your doubts. Let go of the things you can’t change. Let go of every mistake you’ve made and start now.

Stop comparing yourself to someone you wish you could be.

Stop saying I’ll be happy when I lose is weight, when I have that surgery, when I go on that trip, when I hit that milestone, when I get that job or that relationship.

Stop promising yourself that self-love will come when you change something in the future.

Start learning to appreciate who you are now.

Stop being so vocal about your insecurities and change that tone to something positive.

Stop wearing everything you hate about yourself across your forehead for everyone to see.

Stop trying so hard to be different.

Stop rejecting yourself.

Stop apologizing for being who you are and start accepting it.

Start looking at yourself in the mirror with admiration you deserve.

And I know what it’s like to love everyone else so deeply and just want that to come back to you ten folds. But you don’t know how? How do I not hate this thing about me? How do I train myself to not be defined by flaws? How do I even begin to love myself when there’s so much I don’t like?

Change the things you can.

If you have a goal write it down and work towards that.

But stop limiting yourself to the self-love you deserve, just because you have insecurities.

Everyone has something they don’t like about themselves but the only difference is they aren’t letting it define them they way, you are.

And I don’t know where those insecurities derive from?

Maybe you’ve heard something from someone else and you’ve allowed that to play on repeat in your mind enough that it’s destroying you.

Maybe you are letting your past mistakes define you.

Maybe someone hurt you lately and heartbreak is making you turn on yourself and feed you false information, that it’s you not good enough or pretty enough or smart enough or skinny enough or successful enough.

Enough.

Change that dial in your brain to all the things you are.

Cause you are pretty enough.

You are smart enough.

Maybe you aren’t where you want to be but use that as motivation to get there.

But self-love isn’t a destination to get to. Self-love is what will get you there.

If you want love in your future start by learning to love yourself.

Start by building yourself up every day instead of knocking yourself down.

Start by changing the dialogue you have and those conversations in your head.

You wouldn’t talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself, if you did you wouldn’t have a friend and that’s exactly what needs to change.TC mark