An Inner Monologue Of Motivating Yourself To Work Out In The Morning
By Kim Scardino
Why is the alarm going off so early?
Is 5:30am a real time? It can’t be a real time.
The bed is so warm.
And the apartment is so cold. Why is it so cold?
Maybe I should turn off the air conditioning.
That’s a dumb idea.
I’m thirsty. Am I dehydrated? I can’t work out if I’m dehydrated.
Am I dehydrated if I have to pee? Hmmm, I’ll WebMD that later.
I have a little headache. Definitely can’t work out if I’m sick.
I could get up and work out tomorrow morning.
Plus I’m still sore from spin and body pump and that weird elliptical machine from Sunday.
Should I be taking it easy?
Have I been working too hard lately?
I did work all day yesterday and went to Target and made dinner. That’s a lot.
Will I think the same things if I wait to work out until tomorrow morning?
Crap.
I went to bed late last night after binge watching the last two episodes of Orange is the New Black.
And I really didn’t sleep well either. I should try to get in an extra half hour.
Plus I read that sleep is important for weight loss so I could lose a pound by just going back to sleep.
Wow, I’m a genius.
Shoot — I’m going out to eat after work. So I can’t work out tonight.
And I was planning on ordering dessert with dinner. Something with maraschino cherries, for sure.
Are there such things as adult kiddie cocktails?
How old am I?
Crap.
I definitely ate too much yesterday and “accidentally” ate most of a Costco size container of animal crackers because they were “healthy.”
Crap.
I should go work out.
I should really go work out.
Ok, I’m going.
(7:00 am alarm goes off)
Whoops. Maybe tomorrow!