Thought Catalog
June 6, 2017

17 Easy-To-Miss Signs You’re Already The Independent Woman You Aspire To Be

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Louis Kang

1. You have a thorough understanding of your own flaws or insecurities. You know what you need to work on, you know what you struggle with, and you’re constantly looking for ways to experience growth and to help yourself feel more comfortable in your own skin every single day.

2. And because you understand yourself and your struggles so well, you’ve become very capable and skilled at making the right decisions for yourself. You know when you’re reacting from a logical place versus an emotional place, and you know how to slow down and just listen to yourself when it comes to everything you encounter.

3. You have goals. And even when they change – which they inevitably do – you’re always working towards something. You never stop.

4. You hold no fear or bitterness towards love. You’re happy for others who have found it, and if you’re interested in love but haven’t yet found it yourself, you’re still content and confident with the current life path that you’re on.

5. If you are looking for love, you’re looking for a partner. You don’t want to just be somebody’s girlfriend or wife. What you want is to find a person who supports you and encourages you in everything you do, someone who looks to you to do the same for them, and someone with whom you’ll build a life – rather than someone you’ll build your life around.

6. If you have found love, you see it as something that’s a very important part of your life, but not as something that completely defines you. You’re beyond thankful every day for having that person in your life and you love them with your entire heart. But you don’t look at your relationship as the thing that defines you or the thing that signifies that you’ve now had success in adulthood.

7. You know how to walk away from an unhealthy situation. Whether it’s a toxic friendship, a hostile romantic relationship, or a job that negatively affects your mental or physical health, you are comfortable with walking away from something when you know you need to.

8. And you don’t feel the need to explain yourself to anyone when you make a decision like that. When you walk away from something that is harmful to you, your outlook is never apologetic, guilty, or ashamed. You simply knew that you had to take care of yourself and you did – and you just leave it at that.

9. You’re not afraid of only having yourself as company. You don’t have any issues being alone with yourself and your own thoughts.

10. In fact, you absolutely cherish your alone time. You’ve figured out not only how to enjoy your time by yourself, but how to use it to your greatest advantage – you know what you typically need to do to recharge, what you need to do to mentally work through something that’s troubling you, and what you need to do when you’re in need of some serious rest and relaxation.

11. You gravitate towards challenge. You’re never done, you’re never perfect, you’re never finished. You’re always looking to learn more and to find something that forces you out of your comfort zone.

12. You never let yourself feel complacent or overly satisfied. When you’ve accomplished something, you give yourself permission to celebrate and feel proud of what you’ve done. But after an appropriate amount of time, you’re on to the next thing – always focusing on the future, and how you can grow, as opposed to living in the glory days of the past.

13. You’ve learned to choose your friendships carefully. You’ve finally gotten to a point where you only put time and effort into relationships where both people are bringing love and support to the table. If you’ve consistently been there for a friend over the years and all they’ve done in return is drain you of your energy and joy, you’re comfortable enough now to just let it go.

14. Happiness, to you, has finally become a process, rather than an end-goal. You don’t look at your life as something with one specific finish line in reach – you look at it as a long and complicated experience. You’ve started to challenge yourself to find the goodness and the joy in everyday things, in the experience of learning and becoming better, rather than looking at life as something where you’ll only feel happy when you achieve that one, giant accomplishment.

15. You can take criticism and critiques. You know you’re not perfect, and even though criticisms often make you feel uncomfortable or insecure, you always take them into consideration and figure out what you can glean from them in order to become a better, stronger person.

16. But at the same time, you don’t let these things destroy you. Often, these judgments really hurt and sting. But you let them wash over you, you take what you can from them, and then you move on and continue working hard on the things you care about.

17. You’re working every day to get a little closer to understanding who you are, what you want, and why you’re on this earth. You know it’s a process, and you know you’ll never reach the end, but you’ve learned to find the beauty in that experience and to just enjoy getting to know yourself a little bit more every day. TC mark

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