1. You like to be within close physical distance of each other, even if you’re not interacting.
Reading a book while they go through work emails. Hanging out at the kitchen table while they slice some vegetables. Them falling asleep on the couch while you watch your favorite late night talk show. It doesn’t matter if you’re actually talking or physically interacting, you both just greatly enjoy the simple pleasure of being in the same room together.
2. Your text messages have a powerful effect on one another’s moods.
Just a simple “good luck today, you’ll do great!” sort of text is enough to make you smile when you’re incredibly stressed out at work.
3. You get joy from doing small things that will make the other person’s life just a little bit easier.
Filling up their portable coffee mug in the morning or them picking you up a new phone charger after you lost yours on a trip. As seemingly trivial as these things are, you both love to do anything you can to make things better for the other person, no matter how simple.
4. You have fun doing things that you normally hate – like laundry or cooking or taxes – as long as you’re together.
It doesn’t make the spring cleaning or the closet organizing or bill-paying any less tedious. It’s just that you don’t mind doing it as much when you know your partner is by your side, and that these are the little moments in which you build a life together.
5. You say sorry, especially when you really don’t want to.
Even though you hate being wrong, and that apology tastes extremely unpleasant when it’s coming out of your mouth, you both understand how necessary it is to your relationship that you say you are sorry when you’ve made a mistake.
6. You respect each other in every way.
You respect each other’s time. You respect each other’s opinions. You respect each other’s wants and needs. You’re proud of one another. You look up to each other. You want the best for the other person in all aspects of life. You listen to each other.
7. You have arguments (sometimes quite often), and force yourselves to hash everything out instead of sweeping it under the rug.
Rather than making passive aggressive comments or giving the silent treatment or whatever else is the more tempting way to behave, you force one another to actually talk through what’s bothering you until you arrive at a point you can both be happy with. You’re comfortable with the fact that an argument doesn’t have to be a bad thing, as long as you do it healthily and respectfully.
8. You talk to each other.
About your days. About that one coworker at the office. About your anxieties. About your moms. About something you’ve been insecure about lately. About your favorite new tv show. Whatever it is – life-altering or completely insignificant – you never stop talking to one another, about anything and everything.
9. When you think about the future, it’s always in terms of “we” rather than “me.”
Everything – jobs, health, potentially kids, family, living place, money, mental wellness – is always about how it will affect the two of you, as a team.
10. You speak kindly about each other to other people.
Even when they’re driving you absolutely insane, you never even think about badmouthing them or belittling them to anyone else. The trust between the two of you is too strong for either of you to ever want to damage it.
11. You make it a habit to always remember to say “thanks.”
Anything from someone getting in the shower first so the other can sleep longer, to somebody making a huge professional sacrifice if it’s for the health of the relationship, no act is too small or too large for you to show your gratitude to each other.
12. You’re best friends.
Confidants. Partners. Sounding boards. And whatever else you ever need each other to be.