1. “You’re too pretty to be gay.”
–Claire, 23
2. “My husband and I were watching some TV show and there was a girl with these really cut abs. I was skinny but not toned. I told him ‘I wish I had those lines on my stomach! They look so good.’ And he goes, dead serious, ‘No, no, my ex-girlfriend had those. I like your tummy the way it is!’ AND THEN POKED IT.”
–Lisa, 29
3. “A guy once told me he’d slept with 99 women, and that he wanted the 100th to be special!”
–Tori, 31
4. “New Year’s Eve, 2003. I’d been with my (now husband) boyfriend for three months, both of us 17-years-old at the time. We were at a party with another couple and had raided somebody’s parents’ liquor cabinet. Everyone else got drunk but I couldn’t because 90% of the mixture was Jagermeister and I couldn’t drink it. So a little later on we all break away to have teenager sex. My drunk boyfriend finishes and as I roll away I realize the condom is gone.
Since I am very sober I start FREAKING OUT. Oh god, I am a pregnant teen mother. For sure. There’s no way I’m not completely preggo. I start frantically searching for the mysterious missing condom and my poor hammered guy goes ‘It’s FIIIINE. It’s FIIIINE! I WANT you to be the mother of my children.’
Ah yes, how romantic and sweet and beautiful but YOU MAY HAVE JUST RUINED BOTH OF OUR LIVES YOU DUMB IDIOT. I found the condom inside me and luckily we have still not produced any children to this day but god help me I married that moron.”
–Anna, 30
5. “We were talking about porn for some reason. I was feeling really bad about myself but was still super skinny, probably 110 pounds. I was admittedly on a compliment fishing trip and said something like ‘But I don’t look like how girls look in porn! I’m so fat. No one in porn looks like me.’ He took me at my word and rather than thinking about the words coming out of his mouth, patted my shoulder in an understanding way and said, ‘I’m sure they make fat girl porn.'”
–Mel, 28
6. “I just hate when guys ask ‘How are you still single?’ I get that they’re trying to be nice and complimentary, but it just makes me feel embarrassed and stupid and awkward.”
–Alessandra, 26
7. “I’m gay, and I met this guy at a bar who kept talking about how he dated 3 lesbians. And he was like ‘you and me could be good though’ and I had only been talking to him just to be nice. It was so annoying.”
–Elizabeth, 24
8. “A Wall Street guy once ask me: ‘Are you a BMW, Mercedes, or Porsche type of girl…Cause I’ve got all three.’ Technically it was more of a question than an intended compliment, but I was still generally shocked that this type of dude exists.”
–Bri, 27
9. “A guy I was dating said he was tired of the ‘hot, blonde overly skinny types’ and was happy to be dating someone like me. Insert expressionless, annoyed emoji face.”
–Amber, 23
10. “I think you make my friends feel uncomfortable with how smart you are.”
–Jules, 30
11. “He told me my beer belly gave me character and that it was funny. I tried to laugh along with him but later that night I went back to my place and cried.”
–Amy, 21
12. “The classic ‘but you fold the laundry so much better than I do!’ line. I always thought it was a cliche but then my boyfriend actually said it to me and I couldn’t believe guys really use it. It’s not cute, just annoying as hell.”
–Lace, 29
13. “A guy I was ‘talking’ to told me that my high-profile job made me scary.”
–Tia, 28
14. “He told me he took a while to hit on me because I seemed more like a ‘relationship girl’ than a ‘one night stand’ type.”
–Chloe
15. “That my sister was the pretty one but that I was the more approachable one.”
–Andrea
16. “Some dude on Tinder messaged me that he was initially gonna swipe left but that my bio was funny so he decided to swipe right. Lucky me!!!!!!”
–Megan, 24
17. “You’re actually a lot nicer than you look.”
–Greta, 29
18. “You’re not someone I would ever date but you’re great with emotional stuff.” 
–Nina, 25
