18 Things That Happen When Your Roommate Is Your Best Friend
By Kim Quindlen
1. You realize the most fun you have together is some combination of talking about the same hypothetical scenarios for your future, current dramas with mutual half-friends-half-enemies or your general issues yet again, or going to Target and some fast food place. You laugh at how bleak this sounds, but you also realize that there are few things that make a soul happier.
2. Your family either suspects you might be dating, or has unofficially adopted her as their own (or, you know, both.)
3. You send her a vague, 1-2 word text message, such as “Last. Night.” and she responds with “I. Know.” because she knows exactly what you’re saying just from those 2 words. You’ve maybe even gotten to the level where you can talk solely through use of emojis, and have a complete conversation.
4. You have her name saved in your phone with some combination of said emojis next to it. (If you’re truly next level, you have a different ringtone for her so you always know when she’s calling or texting.)
5. You cannot make it through the work day unless you can commiserate with her on Gchat the entire time.
6. When you disappear on Gchat for longer than 5 minutes, and she texts you to make sure you didn’t get kidnapped/actually throw yourself out your office window/actually go in and yell at your boss and tell them you quit.
7. She not only knows your order at any given restaurant by heart, but she’s actually ordered for you at a fast food drive-thru, without even asking beforehand.
8. Instead of calling each other’s ex’s by name, you use references like “Don Draper Wannabe” or “Hipster Beard.”
9. Somehow, she always wants to do the exact same things you do… such as, you know, go to Taco Bell at 10 p.m. on a Sunday and order 3 tacos each.
10. When you ask her to put on music while you’re getting ready for a night out, she always somehow starts off with the exact song you wanted to hear.
11. When she disappears to the bar, and you have no doubt that she will return with your go-to drink as well.
12. You sometimes text her your weird thoughts and anxieties you’re having throughout the day – with little or no context – so to anybody else, you’d look like a complete psycho being like “I have to drive over the bridge I’m freaking out,” “What if SHE’S there, tho???” but to her, there’s nothing more important than having someone to talk to like that.
13. When she sees a picture of you from middle/high school, she does her best not to laugh… but ends up laughing hysterically and getting you to laugh along because it’s just too easy.
14. When something really upsets you, you don’t have to explain why because she already knows everything that’s happened in your life. And I mean, everything.
15. You’re borderline-weirdly obsessed with each other. Like, sometimes you worry about it. But most times you just laugh.
16. She recognizes what your “I’m Being Worthless and Doing Nothing Today” outfit looks like, and she happily puts hers on the minute she sees you emerge from your room in oversized sweatpants, an XXXL sweatshirt, and that blanket that you’re wearing as a cape.
17. She is the only person who can slap you across the face when its time to get. it. together. and you know how important that kind of person is to have in your life.
18. Even when you bicker a little and worry that maybe you’ve done irreparable damage to your friendship, she’s there to remind you that you are insane, and no matter how crazy you drive one another, you’re going to be part of each other’s lives no matter what.